july 26th is my dads birthday, and this thursday we should be celebrating him turning 59. while the celebration will happen in spirit, i cant help but get a bit bummed. its crazy, my body knows to act heavy and depressed around key dates. his birthday is a biggie.
i miss my dad. A LOT. these 4 years have been weird without him...amazing and sad, difficult and incredible. but weird. hes the guy i could always count on and i dont know why he isnt here. i imagine all the weekends we'd be spending in nyc and just having an absolute ball. i miss him more for his sake than my own, if that makes sense. i know how much life he had left and all he wanted to do. the amazing part was that he wanted to spend a lot of it with me.
fact is, the world was better with him. it makes me feel vulnerable without him. he was the armor to make me believe i could do anything.
i hope youre watching dad, and smiling down (as i am smiling up). i love you so much, every day. thank you for 24 years of magic...i know to keep it close to my heart and never let it go. happy birthday week!
true happiness.
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