Tuesday, September 1, 2015

I'm homesick. Let me explain.

As an avid runner, it's pretty standard that at any given time I'm jokingly (or seriously) dealing with mild injuries, soreness and fatigue. This can sometimes pose a problem since I don't do "sidelined".

As a way to deal with a shin and calf flare up over the last couple months, I started my day with a 3-4 mile walk. I figured I could get in some miles and break a sweat with very little impact. 

Runners rarely slow down. I rarely slow down. Morning (and/or night) walks forced me to do exactly that and I discovered I actually like it - you know, second to running :)

It's been fun walking around NYC before and after the chaos erupts. I look around and feel close to my dad. 

I rediscover what it means to feel serene - even if the feeling is fleeting. I crave running - but really enjoy walking.

So, as I said, im homesick. Homesick for my life as it was, before being an adult complicated it so much. Homesick for for the feeling that everything will work out. 

It's been a tough few weeks - work shit, legs not feeling 100%, more work shit, not enough sleep. I need to worry less. Every day I do my best - I do better than even I think I can - and if that's ever not good enough, I want to learn to not give a fuck. I want to get more selfish with the time I worry about things that aren't going to make sure I'm ok in the end. Work is one of those things.

I also need a crush. I'm boy-crazy hil, I'm never not crushing. But there hasn't really been anyone in a while. What's up with that NYC!? 

Well it's September 1. The start of a new month, a week away from the start of a new season. Fall is an awesome season - the colors! The smells! It's all beautiful. {It's cousin, Winter, always shows up after a while which totally sucks, but let's take it a step at a time}