Sunday, October 31, 2010

tomorrow is november

holy shit. tomorrow is november. 2 weeks until my birthday. i will be turning 25 (again!?)...haha!!

nah, just kidding, ill be 27 years young. pretty hard to believe. seeing all these little trick-or-treaters brings me back to when i was 6. and, well, last year. im lucky my friends and i havent outgrown the simplicities in life. everyone likes candy...and halloween allows us to binge on a bunch, and not feel bad about it. you can never outgrow sugar highs, chocolate bars and anything rainbow-colored. no sir.

in talking with my mom, i most definitely dont look at kids and wish to be that. i like getting older...i like being able to state my opinion, and make decisions. i like being a contributing member of society. life in your 20s is a mish-mash of confusion, hormones, stubbornness, fear, and all-around angst. though i am not going to miss this, i do know that it is part of the journey.

im excited for that next chapter...the boyfriend (i know, i know, who am i!?!), and settling down a bit.
what i find difficult is that i like to live my life the way i feel i need, workout, see friends, etc. i like to do certain things, eat certain things, run at certain times, etc. i know this is true for everyone, and i just hope i can find a gem of a boy to fill in my puzzle. that is key, right?! i mean if you are going to date someone, he has to compliment you or itll never work.

well, i do have feelers out, and a crush (or several?!). ahhh yes, boys.

coming up on my 27th birthday, i feel good. i feel like i have seen so much, accomplished so much and been really open to life. i have given different cities, jobs, people and opportunities a chance, and have really grown into my shoes. at 27 i feel like i know who i am. i know what i like and i know how to be a great friend. im excited because i have so much more to learn, see and meet, but i like where i am headed. and, although i hate being cold, im excited to be back on the east coast.

the big apple has proven interesting to get used to. its a whole 'nother planet in terms of how things work. you have to take public transportation everywhere (um, yea, hopping in the car and grabbing groceries doesnt exist), and figuring out which subway to grab in which direction and switching platforms has been hilariously ridiculous. i am my own version of a really bad reality show. but thats ok.
if i can live in LA, NYC, philly and countless others, as well as get through the death of my dad, i an do anything. im not really phased by anything. cause i can do it. need the proof. its all there.

well im going to sign off, but not before i wish my little bloggie a happy birthday month! pretty exciting.

happy halloween all! xoxo

happy halloween!

its that time of year again! halloween is such a funny, crazy holiday. we went out last night, and the sight on the subway was RIDICULOUS. there was a unicorn, 2 girls that were pieces of bread (they kept sandwiching was sooooooooooooooooo funny!!), a zombie, etc. i love how people get into it...what an absurd day, right??

the one thing i cant get comfortable with is masks. to get to the party we were going to, we had to walk a little ways down a pretty dark street. coming toward us was a dude walking alone in all black with the most terrifying mask on that i have ever seen. im typically not ok with those. otherwise, i think its hilarious.

anyway, i ended up being a cat and ali was alice (in wonderland). i took a pic of us getting ready.

ali and i had gotten together earlier in the day to costume shop. note to self: costume shopping the day before halloween SUCKS. haha. we stood outside the shop for 20 minutes like we were in line to get into a bar in college. they were on the 1 in, 1 out, system. whaat?!

anyway, i opted for a cat. costumes are SOOOO expensive, so were trying to think of cute ideas without spending $50+....which, sadly, is very hard to do. oh, also, we wanted to wear clothes, not be "slutty" anything. they didnt have just cat ears by themselves, so i got this little kit thing that came with ears, a tail, collar, and cuffs. we decided it had to be somewhat of a sex-kitten thing....i didnt wear the cuffs or collar. yea, NO. also, my tail and ears had pearls on them. not sure why, but i went with it.


Friday, October 22, 2010

the charms of my apt keep showing themselves

i thought today would be a great time to turn on the heat and make sure it works. there a little nob on the side of this heater, so i turned it. nothing happened. i kept turning it...and it came off! haha.

ok so i tried twisting it back the opposite direction and reattached the knob. waited a few minutes and kept checking the unit. it didnt get warm.

i was confused and feeling defeated. i went to the bathroom (silly deets i know, sorry) and lo and behold...the heat comes out of a pole in the bathroom! HAHAHA.

so, yea. my heat is in the bathroom. not really sure why theres a heat unit in the main doesnt do anything!

happy lil are a weird little thing. kinda like your owner, so ill go with it :)

Thursday, October 21, 2010


amy, you need to start blogging again. and we must meet up soon. that is all. haha!

11 days

moved in 11 days ago. crazy!! it honestly feels as though it has gone super fast, but i know how much i have been through in the past 11 days. my emotions have been all over the place. ive done a lot of thinking (thank YOU no cable and internet)....haha.

its feeling a lot more like home now. mom was here last weekend and gave it her touch. YESS! thanks mom!! you are THE BEST, as we know. i now have cable and internet, and pics and paintings are hung. i have a few more things im planning to do, but a home is a process...and im in no hurry to "finish".

friends have seen it, mom has been here, and a housewarming party is being planned. flick and i get together all the time (living 3 blocks from your best bud is pretty great) and i pretty much fall in love with every cute boy i pass on the street, subway, or grocery store (what else is new!).

life is a process. its hard, its fun, its hurtful, its funny, its honest. all of it, all the bad, all the good, all the ugly and all the beauty is worth it. i know that to be true. for someone like me who is such a spaz, i sometimes struggle with all sorts of things, but my family and friends keep me grounded.


Monday, October 18, 2010

just sayin'...

if you havent already heard it, please download and play "empire state of mind" by alicia keys featuring jay-z. in it, jay-z sings a line about "560 state street....": this is my street! i got a shout-out!

strictly out of curiosity, ali and i walked down my street a few blocks to see exactly where this building was. when jay-z lived in brooklyn, namely 560 state street, he was selling a lot of drugs and such. we walked by, and its a relatively nice place. just so funny you know!

basically, im just sayin', big things seem to happen on state street. hope its an omen to my life!

Monday, October 11, 2010

time to ramble

i found myself homesick last night. i had gotten home from running errands, spending a few hours with ali before she caught the train home for a week and grabbing a movie (without cable and internet, i am not in a huge hurry to get home) and began unwrapping my last box. it was picture frames. frame after frame of my family, my dad. i got teary. there are just some times that i get to thinking about life and how much id like to see my dad, talk to him and ask for his guidance. my dad had a way of making me feel smart, funny and beautiful even when i didnt feel it for myself. he had a complicated daughter (arent we all?!) and he just handled me, and everything in life, with such grace and ease. i would give anything to have him visit me in brooklyn, laugh at a joke, go run with me, help me land a boyfriend, loosen up about myself, and see that maybe one day things will fall into place. but he cant do that. i get a sense of ease when i pray at night and think about him, but i cant help but fight just how amazingly sucky life is without my dad.

thats not to say the people in my life arent amazing. you all are. my dad was irreplaceable. in times like now where im adjusting to a new city and trying to find my way, a job, and organize my apartment, a bit of dad would be great. the moments when i fully believe i am not qualified for anything, id like him to tell me he loves me. the moments when i am alone or homesick, or bummed a boy wasnt love for him to tell me that im a catch, and hes only an email, phone call, text or train ride away. when i am feeling sluggish or tired after too much alcohol, too much sugar and not enough like for him to remind me that im a great runner, and hes proud.

i dont mean any of this selfishly. anyone that knows me knows that nothing makes me happier than telling those i love how amazing they are. its just that my dad had a special way of reminding me about all the things i forget about myself.

life in your 20s is tough. there is so much self-doubt and self-acceptance (or not) happening. theres a lot of soul-searching, highs and lows. i know life is tough in all generations for various reasons, but for now, im still learning how to be 26. im trying to find a good guy to be mine. im trying to find something i love to do for a living. im trying to find a balance between wanting to be a great athlete and party animal.

ok, ill continue this self-introspection later, but before i sign off id like to share with you my hellish move. to start, the guy moving me told me on wednesday hed be at my apt between 7:30-8am on friday. because of this my mom cancelled her train cause she wasnt going to get there until 11, and by that time the move would be over. fast forward to friday and he didnt end up getting there until 945. that, and he showed up alone. who the hell shows up to move someone alone?!?! i was pissed. i called my mom. im still hoping to get some sort of refund for this. we had to ask some workers working next door to help with moving. i politely asked the guy why he showed up alone, and he defensively responded, "maam, ive been doing this for 32 years. i know what i am doing, are you questioning my abilities?" i was like, "no, im not at all, i just know that experience doesnt help move furniture, bodies do. seeing as youve done this a time or two, id think youd know this". ha!

well, he got me back. he asked if he could be. EXTREMELY hesitantly i said ok. he then took a huge shit and asked to please leave the apt while the smell diminished. i was MORTIFIED. MORTIFIED!!! a move that should have taken not much time took 4+ hours. he took a few smoke breaks. explained that smoking wasnt the reason he was short of breath going up 2 flights of stairs or the reason he had no teeth. (i didnt ask). defensive much?? haha.

needless to say, i wasnt a fan of my mover. the neighbors that helped were dolls!! i tipped 'em $20. i mean, they did move me. i didnt have any more cash than that, so that was it...but i got 'em waters and sodas. it was funny cause they actually felt bad for me throughout this whole thing. to quote one of them, "i think hes a fucking moron. we want to see you get moved successfully. please ask us for anything you need. lets hurry this up, so jackass goes home". he spent much of the move telling me how rich he was and how he doesnt get out of bed for anywhere near $350 a day. what the fuck?!

thats only the beginning. ive got many more ramblings to share :)

Sunday, October 10, 2010


so here i am, sitting in my neighborhood starbucks blogging since i wont be getting cable for a few more days and i needed to blog. that, and well, escape unpacking and doing things within my apt for a while. i will do more of that tonight, and wanted to use my daylight hours for other things) haha.

ok, its happening again. im job hunting and doing other work instead of blogging.

this will get better, i swear! thanks for bearing with me...i know my lil bloggie hasnt been that exciting.

more updates to come. XOXO

hi there bloggie!

where did september go?! haha, i dont think i blogged in that entire month. good god! i have been doing so many things in so many places, i just needed a break i guess, sometimes in order to live life the way you want to, or should, you cant help but not have time to write it all down. this post itself has taken me 5 days...ive written a little, and stopped to take care of other things.

i want to wrap up this post and do another one, so here is a pic of my apt. shes pretty small, but perfect for my first new york apartment. apt hunting here is one thing that will never escape my mind. one of my bfs summed it up best, "usually after we experience immense pain, enough time can erase it. take childbirth. its crazy, but people forget and have another. the pain and misery of apartment hunting lasts forever" haha. i thought it was perfectly fitting, and funny.
please note that there are tons to come (mom is visiting this weekend, and we will share tons!), but i want you all to see my new home, as you were so amazing through my move.