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Showing posts from July, 2011

the weekend of september 30 might actually kill me

last night katie, ali and i went to a movie on the water (outdoor movie screen on the water) and while snacking on the most delicious popcorn, candy and chocolate we talked about doing the down and dirt mud run 10K

i am moving September 30/October 1
i am running a 10K mud run October st2nd

2 things that very much need their own weekend. im doing it at once. i am a girl of extremes.

i am running it with a few besties. theres a chance we might die. going down smelling like mud and being covered in sweat is exactly how id like to go out.

the big guy has a birthday tomorrow

its like clockwork...grief, i mean. you find yourself experiencing times where the heaviness of what you have lost doesnt seem to be the focus of your thoughts. other times you find tears are a mere word, though, memory or pictre away. grief is a funny thing. it cant be cured, and it cant be stopped. if i am being optimistic, i might even go so far as to say grief represents just how great something once was in your life that you just cant imagine life without it.

that was dad. i know he is all around me, and sending me signs when he can. i just dont get it tho...death. what?! in the same sense that its SO easy to gain weight, its SO easy to just die. poof. over.

id like to think he'll be up there munching on some cake and dancing all around the room. though he was a bit on the shyer side, he could definitely shake it! especially when provoked :) haha, youre welcome dad. id personally request "our" songs (we had a handful) and just laugh until i keeled over.

58. HAPPY B…

sunday.

i think that was the most perfect day of my life. if i could spend every day like yesterday, WHOA!
basically it included a movie, drinking, cute boys, lots of chocolate, sex and the city, shakespeare in the park, wedding shoe shopping, a snack-fest in starbucks underground, a trip to brooklyn library, a walk all over brooklyn, a hilarious heart-to-heart, a sunset stroll, ice cream cake, wedding chatter, more boys, grocery store sampling and dinner. ended with a shower and a true fight not to go to bed. but the day had to end.

ps, if you havent already, you must try frozen bananas covered in chocolate at TJ's. holy hell. DELISH!

and my friends, its back at work today. but its going to be a fun month ;)

whoa.

i felt it starting around 4:30pm. that familiar feeling that tears are just a moment away. i kept my focus at work, but it weakened a bit on the train. i pressed the + key on my ipod to increase the volume so that my head could focus on something else.

then, as i got off the train, it happened. i teared up. a phone call to mom was all i needed. i was in the grocery store loading up on candy and dinner for later, but she talked to me until i got home.

there are times where i just cant be strong. with dads birthday a week away, im feeling particularly vulnerable. i fear the hole that is left will never be filled...even in a small way, by a love of my own.

im scared for that. its funny, after my previous post about how magical some moments have been, im still human, and still fear im not enough for someone. i might not be pretty enough. or rich enough. or thin enough. or popular enough. i dont have my dad to tease me about my boy nonsense...haha, im sure hes up there with his head in his…

new york city

a lot of cool life moments have happened in new york, even before i started living here.
there is such a magic to this city...the lights, the pace, the energy.

with my dads 58th birthday upon us, i begin to take stock in my surroundings. id give anything, and i mean anything to have him back. even for one more day. i went back through herleys past headline news, and just relived some cool moments on behalf of my dad. he was a special dude. ill be completely honest with you bloggie, im not convinced i will find me one of those. whats scary is that i actually do want to to fall in love. for the first time, i actually think im ready for a real relationship. ive dated some amazing guys, no doubt, but in college i was playing around, and with aaron, well, my dad had just died and i couldnt completely focus on us when i was so newly grieving. ive met and dated a few boys in nyc, and its been fun. but i have yet to feel like i found "him"

the boy that i will end up with will be st…

the magic of AC

i lasted long enough. my internal organs were about 6565656 degrees, and i knew it was time.
i finally got a window AC unit. holy hell, my life has vastly imroved. for fear of an energy bill, i dont keep it on much, usually just when i sleep, but WHOA! you cant live without AC, you just cant. its like the internet, its not a luxury, its a necessity.

on another note, saw harry potter last night. i have not read any of the books, and havent seen a single movie. im a sucker for hanging out with friends, and boys, so i went. OMG OMG OMG it was awesome!!!!!! i really loved it. had no idea. didnt see it coming. but go see it...NOW. its amazing.

ok back to work :)

its monday. im hot. and tired. and my brain was thinking random things...

1. When I hang out with my family and friends, I feel so happy and free and understood and cozy. I think I can eat whatever I want with them and not gain weight, and actually believe there are cool boys out there that like me! Basically what im saying is life is not nearly as cool or fun as when I am with my mom or friends. But I think we all knew that, right?!

2. Why is it that the guy you want to text you doesn’t, but the dude you don’t give a shit about won’t stop?

3. One of the most annoying things is when you’re at the movies and you think you’re all set and not surrounded by anyone annoying… and then the stragglers roll in! And they always, ALWAYS sit in the seat right in front of me. Doesn’t he see I want to put my feet up? Happened Saturday night, haha!

4. What am I looking for? What do I ultimately want? I want my future husband to know BETTER than me! I want him to make me feel safe. I want him to be my best friend. I want him to ‘get’ me. to get ‘it’. I want him to be han…

Susie Kelley, Inc.

had an amazing weekend with mom! (and gamma!)

basically, we ate a lot of popcorn (yay movies, and sheetz), candy, and home cooked meals.
we rented a movie, went to see one, kicked ass in body pump and had an impromptu dance party (we even dougied!)

curious to know what else we did!? we launched Susie Kelley Art on Facebook. We created a fan page so that my mom can showcase her talent. She has entered an art show at the end of Septemeber (spread the word!) and we are now launching her full steam ahead. I am focused on being her business manager and being in charge of getting her name out there, grabbing freelance accounts, etc.

Susie Kelley, Inc. has been launched.