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la la la

can you believe its already december 31st?! its that time of year we reflect back on the past 12 months and think ahead to all the things we want to change, improve, keep the same or just plain appreciate in the coming year. i have not decided on my new years resolution yet.

as i reflect back on the past year, there are obvious lows. some pretty shitty moments. but, you know what, there are some pretty freakin great times too. im happy to be alive, happy, healthy and loved. my heart is full of love from friends and family, and that of a certain boy :) hahaha. we all lost a huge piece of ourselves in 2008...some lost a brother, some lost a son, a friend, a coworker, a husband, uncle, brother-in-law, some lost a dad. the events of 2008 have made me realize how precious life is, how priceless friends and family. how truly loved i am. thank YOU for that. all of you. i mean it, i just cant say it enough :) xoxo

in the meantime, ill work on my resolution and post later... :) loooove you all!…

getting inked

as many of you know i have been throwing around the idea of getting a tatoo of dads initials for a while. nothing huge, nothing gaudy, nothing in a really obvious spot...just something for me. i thought, first, the bottom of my foot would be cute...but, umm, im not really ok with being bed ridden for something like that. i mean, i am on my feet all day at work...might pose a problem, haha. ive since thrown around the idea on my upper wrist...behind my ear...side of my foot...etc. i think im leaning toward upper wrist. i usually wear a zillion hair ties and a watch so itll be my little secret. mom mentioned her lower back. i will keep you all posted on final locations :)

at work today, mom told me she wants to do it too. so next week we are thinking about doing it. most likely next saturday...eek!! im pretty sure its going to hurt like a bitch...but i know i can handle it.

ultimate renuion

last night all my fave girls and i reunited in lanc! we all met at mt friend katies house to just hang out, talk, watch movies, and eat cookies.

well, 8 bottles of wine later...!!!!!!!!!!!
haha, needless to say, i didnt get home until 5am...and i am now at work feeling pretty hot. haha, totally just kidding about feeling awesome. but it was the most fun night. and well worth it ;)

i will repost later when i have pictures of all of us, but i was so happy to hang out with everyone last night. it truly felt like no time had passed. though we have always done a good job at keeping in touch with each other, we all share a really unique friendship. we relate to each other like noone else...can make fun of each other like noone else, and can know exactly what we are thinking like noone else. thats pretty special.

at around 12:30 we decided it was a good idea to hit the bars. dear god! we saw pretty much everyone we knew. it was hilarious.

it was time to leave the bar at like 2:15...and the night …

marley and me...and room 12

dammit marley. you made us all cry!!!! haha, of course im talking about marley and me. mom, gamma and i went to see it today. it was cute...but, dear god, so sad. it hit home pretty hard with everything with dad, but also cali (who mom and i put down not long ago). its tough watching owen wilson be so vulnerable and sad without it breaking your heart.

overall it was a great christmas. i got some great presents, and hopefully gave out a couple good ones too!! :)

we started the morning going to hospice. we spent some time hanging out in room 12. they are renovating it so noone was in there. wow. it was heavy. mom had a breakdown. she and i spent some time hugging...just staring at his bed. it was so empty. the 6 days we spent there were some of the longest, weirdest days. that room began feeling so big...our entire world. it felt smaller today...colder, absent. i feel we brought warmth to that room. we both got cold and chills while standing in that room...i pray to god it was dad.

i want …

so many thoughts

merry christmas!! we have just a few days left in 2008, and i thought now was a good time to think back to what this past year has brought us. things im thankful for, things i lost, things that inspire me, things i fell in love with...

*family. without you all, i have no idea where i would be. it is thanks to you all (haha, and, well, i guess ill give myself a little credit!!) that i have the energy and confidence to pave my life. to take chances. to take risks. to be rejected, accepted, right and wrong.

*laughter. without it, i would not be a kelley. ha! through so much hurt, i have laughed. it is contageous and has helped others. it has helped me. it is truly the best medicine...even when it seems impossible to find the good in something.

*memories. they can bring on tears, but also they have helped me heal. there are so many times when i feel so fragile, i will look through my journals, pictures, writings, and emails and see just how interesting life is...what i have seen, thought, fe…

merry christmas eve day to all!!

i hope everyone is having a fabulous holiday season...despite any and all bad weather you may be facing.

mom and i are working today until 3...hopefully we have another great day of sales. WOO! (though, y ou can all gauge my thoughts from previous posts on that...haha). we are then heading to gammas house to open presents and church at 8pm. (late night for mom!!!)

as for christmas...we are volunteering at hospice for a few hours, then going to a movie with gamma. she wants to see marley and me. im totally not into that, but its christmas, and if going to see it would make gamma happy, im happy to oblige. then back to the grind on friday! (um, and hopefully getting our paychecks...a week late)...but ill keep you posted.

what about you all...are you all excited about everything?? how is your day going??
i love you all so much and am thinking about how special my family and friends are.
thank you for being in my life...you all are a part of me and i am so thankful!! xoxo

its my blog and ill bitch if i want to

i try to not really be much of a "bitcher". i try to find the good in things. really, i do. but im struggling right now with a few things.

is it too much to ask that a boy that i like, like me back. i mean genuinely like me back. ask me how im doing every once in a while, just text to say hello. simple, stupid, yet cute things. apparently, the answer is a resounding YES. wayyyy to much. i cant do it anymore. i cant send care packages, texts, cards or anything else if i never get anything back. and im not a stalker...these things were for thank-yous, holidays and birthdays. (and approved by family and friends...i mean, i know it sounds like i went overboard but i really didnt...swear!!!). i didnt do any of these things so that i got anything in return...its just that i feel a bit like it all went to waste. sad.

if you own a business you need to pay your employees every 2 weeks. this is not up for discussion. im sorry. i have bills, and landlords and bill collectors dont appreci…

dear dad

i was in bed last night thinking about my dad. i thought it would be cute to write him a letter.

dear dad,
it is december 21...and cold as shit outside. i miss having another person around that refuses to fully embrace winter...open toes shoes, capri pants...yep, i am rocking it. noone understands quite like you...haha.

its the perfect time of year for you and i to grab venti coffees from starbucks and blueberry muffins and sit and chat about everything. i miss our political conversations (god, i always felt so smart being able to talk to you about real life things...i felt so powerful debating with you), read the NY times, talk about boys, read the comics, share life stories, tell you all about the boys i love, like or hate...go shopping-ish, go running, and just sit and talk to you. (haha, i just noticed how i mentioned boys twice...HAHA!!!).

i wish i could watch you open my christmas presents this year...and spoil you with snickers bars and peanut M&Ms. id love to get a glass of wi…

the brick is in place!

hi all!
drew came to visit us at the store today, and we were able to jet out and see the brick we had made at hospice for dad. its in the most perfect spot...right outside room 12 (his room) beside the octangular covering. mom was soo soo happy to see that its in a good spot. I LOVE YOU DADDIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxo

can you believe Christmas is in 5 days?! im really looking forward to volunteering at hospice. its funny, even now when an ambulance passes me i cant help but be reminded of the day i rode with dad to hospice. it may be naive, but i didnt think that that was it. i thought we were going to stabilize him, and head home. not even close.

i welcome any and all memories of dad. though some bring me to tears...i truly think they are happy tears. tears in response to how much of a HUGE part of my life he is, was and always will be. i think about him and talk to him everyday. i know he is proud of me. i just wish he was able to physically hug me, kiss me, give me advice, run with m…

PS...

thaaaank you aunt cori (and crew) for the christmas card!! SO CUTE!!

it was funny though, as until i read the back of the card (so sweet) i forgot you all read this blog! haha. i forgot that friends and family can see this. that made me realize that, A) i need to update lots more and B) gave me a great laugh that all my dorkness is shared by all that i love

i love you guys sooooo much! hope everyone is good, and everyone is getting ready for christmas! xoxoxo

so much to say

i feel like its been a while since i wrote about anything of substance...things that realy fill you all in on my life.

well, its tuesday. its a shitty day outside. how can it be so wonderful one day, and 12 hours later be so miserable? good grief! well, it IS december 16th afterall. haha. and really, im happy, loving life, and this is such a fun time of year. i can suck it up and find the good in scraping the ice off my car...walking to my car down the street in the pouring rain...going nymb as i change lights outside of azura. life is funny, and these are the moments that i think mold us into good characters. (and i will learn to wear gloves, a coat and long pants one day. ehh, actually, thats a lie. i totally wont). hell, my dad never did. :)

one magazine azura has signed on to advertise with is called "fine living". the first issue we will be featured in comes out first thing february (you know with all those pesky deadlines and being far ahead, january is being worked on n…

just another manic monday

wow. my body hated me this morning. it was SO hard to get my ass out of bed. after going out throughout the week and getting little sleep both weekend nights (getting home past 3 AM and needing to be up and ready to be alive and working by 12) i was a little slow today. i am really starting to find working 7 days a week is not humorous at all. but thats ok, the kelley girls are realllllllllllllllllllllllllly good at being happy, strong and we will be fine.

this weekend was so fun. we went to all different bars, had way to much to drink, and flirted with all sorts of boys. pretty fun little life. haha. just kidding.

i have a new crush! hope i get some pictures soon so i can share him with you. but i love being boy crazy...keeps me young, and happy.

k, back to work! xoxo

hey, its OK!

...to love candy canes, its a wonderful life, gingerbread lattes and all that other shamelessly seasonal stuff.

...to consider spanx pants an exercise plan.

...to leave it for somebody else to clean up (for once)

...to.get.so.mad.at.him.you.can.only.talk.like.this

...if you always have to peek at the person next to you at dinner parties to remember which fork to use first

...to ask every one of your friends for advice, and then do the opposite

...to think plain old condoms are perfectly fine. so what if they dont glow in the dark or smell like strawberries

...to never fantasise about being a lady who lunches. its much more fun to be a woman who lives

...if you kind of liked your presents before they were unwrapped. (saying so? NOT OK!!)

10 reasons being perfect is overrated

*when you finally find a guy who's thoughtful enough to pick up his socks, he'll make you pick up yours too.

*avoiding chipped fingernails means no gardening, no pistachio eating, no "heart and soul" playing. not worth it!

*nobody interesting has neat hangwriting.

*well, its exhausting.

*have you seen the venus de milo? awe-inspiring-and yet, missing two arms.

*your being a size 4 wont make him better in bed.

*every happy family has a pathelogical liar arsenist cousin who owes them $2000. or some such.

*mutts are just the cutest.

*breast implants need replacing every 10 years or so. just FYI.

*if you act like a perfect professional all the time, no one will talk to you at the office holiday party.

special visitors

drew and rachel came to lanc today!
it was soooooo fun having them in the store. i am pretty much obsessed with the two of them.

i feel really safe and happy when i am with them, near them, or talking to them. they make me happy...so thanks guys!!! :) xoxo

ok, well back to work...but i love you guys!!!! SO MUCH!!!!
im tellin' ya...i have helped quite a few shoppers that have just left me baffled, or cracking up, or awkward, or just plain pissed off. its amazing how different people are. how people act in everyday life...how certain people have manners and others dont, and the utter lack of knowledge people have in regards to hiding the fact that they are rude, ignorant and pissy.

look, bucko...i had a rough night last night too. i didnt sleep well. im pissed off. i have to go to the bathroom. im stressed about the economy too...i may not make rent. i have to clean my apt. i need to go buy cat food and vacuum. but i wont act like that to you. all you should know about me is that i am happy, working hard, and will do anything to make your shopping experience wonderful. so, please, do the same for me. dont throw a pile of clothes on the floor. dont demand anything...simply request it. please, thank you, and a smile are all free but are universally appreciated.

it is my job to help you, and, belie…

hey, its OK!

ok like ive said before, i totally love these posts! this one especially grabbed me...i can totally relate!!

...to really want to get married super-duper bad.
...to discover all your new music courtesy of the hills.
...to secretly hope that your exes consider you the one that got away.
...to find the word "panties" totally creepy.
...to take a quick YouTube break at work. A sneezing panda can really clear the head.
...to buy it without trying it on-especially if you are wearing more layers than a piece of baklava.
...to laugh inappropriately every time Maury says, "Billy Bob...you are the father"
...to wish you came equipped with guy GPS. ("Turn left at the next man to avoid heartbreak. Recalculatin!)

light up a life

just got home from the "light up a life" ceremony at hospice. it was beautiful...but freeeeeeeeeeezing. it was held outside...and it is just so crazy cold. but i channeled my inner John Kelley and kept it tough. haha.

there were a few songs, and then the best part...they lit up a dozen or so trees. it was a cute moment. we walked around the trees...and then tried our darnedest to find dads brick. little dark though, haha. i cant wait to see it!!

we were given a program that listed all the names honored over this past year. its so crazy...if i see his picture or name i lose it. i can keep it strong if i need to, unless i do either one of those. oh geez. we got pins too. cute little memento.

well, dad. youre now officially shining out there for the world to see!! (granted, i think you shine all the time...but even more now!!! :) :) :)). thinking about my dad makes me happy and feel special. i want him back so bad. they had a speaker say a few words tonight...he spoke psalm 23...d…

twas the night to remember...

last night my mom and i went to the candle ceremony at the snyder funeral home. its a yearly ceremony they put on to honor those lives lost this past year. they mentioned this year saw 541 lives lost. its a rather short deal...a few songs, the lighting of a candle, and a prayer. its sweet...and not too drawn out. (you know how sometimes these things can be a bit of a production, and lose their purpose and feeling)

but i have to say, it cracks me up...i go to these things with the best of intentions of keeping it together and just putting up a little front of strength. it was a simple setup of flowers with the speakers off to the side so we could all watch a video of the pictures of the lives lost this past year. the video flashed either the name or the name with a picture. wellll, as you can imagine, as soon as i saw dad i cried. not in that over-the-top manner but into my tissue. good grief!!!! and so as the night progressed i just felt weaker and weaker and lost my ability to reel it…

john kelley...err, gary?!

so there is this guy that runs around drew and rachels area that apparently (upon hearing from them) has an uncanny resemblance to dad. his running style, his apparel, and chiseled face all resemble dad. (i cant wait to see him!!!!).

being dorky, rachel and i have these conversations where we dissect how we think it is totally dad just keeping his eye on us...little does gary know that my dad has taken over his body, haha. welllll, the other day, he stopped rachel randomly to introduce himself. no reason at all. just saw her walking emmitt and decided to say hello. totally crazy!?? i mean, noone does that. he even took off his glove and shook her hand.

and gary...4 letters. john...4 letters. i told you, dissect everything! soo, either i want rachel and drew to take a picture (haha, stealth mode...cant let him see!!!) or i want to see him. its totally funny and makes me smile thinking that dad is still roaming around. god bless him, hes still running...in his normal attire. god love him!…

oh where oh where should i go...

san francisco? LA? new york? haha howd that last one get in there?! was that you ali?!? haha. i really do want to head west...i mean happy weather, aaron, family, disneyland, aaron. haha. i dont know about LA necessarily, as much as like it. it doesnt really scream im-ready-to-grow-up-and-fall-in-love, etc. HAHA. itd be fun to be near enough to it to party, but SF is more of a living and working city. its also one of my dads favorite cities and that is kinda cool. but id appreciate any help or advice or opinions on this matter. im thinking the beginning of the year to focus myself on the next step. thanks guys!!

you know youre a grown-up when...

...you dont need to rerecord your outgoing voice message 10 times before you deem it acceptable.

...youre actually interested in learning how to save money on car insurance.

...someone asks you about your ex and, instead of ragging on him for two hours straight, you dispatch the matter with a perfectly executed eye roll.

...even though everyone else brags about how much they love dark chocolate, you still like your Snickers and arent afraid to say so.

...it finally dawns on you that waking up with a 102-degree fever means you should keep your sorry ass at home (and that, yes, your coworkers will muddle through without you).

...you no longer find yourself wearing your bikini bottoms some days because you have absolutely, positively no clean undies left.

*...you feel truly grateful for what you have, despite all the stuff (obnoxious in-laws, cellulite, perpetually messy closets) you wish you didnt.

my thanks

this year has been a very odd one. i have had so many sad moments. other moments i have found oddly inspiring. in fact, it has been such a wild ride this past year, that at this exact point i am starting to cry. we just got home from seeing "four christmases" and were laughing so hard. now im sobbing. AHH!! haha. my damn emotions are still so unsettled its amazing. that said, i want to take a minute and thank those people that are in my life. my family, close friends, and those that i am lucky enough to have met through my dads illness. i think you are all angels. there are times that i feel so broken and am so humbled when i remember how lucky i am to know you.

this year marks the beginning of tragic firsts. all events, birthdays, holidays, anniversaries and memories will be had without my dad. he was the kelley family team captain and always will be. he can never, and will never lose that title.

amidst my tears i am having a very difficult time writing this. soo, to wrap thi…

gobble gobble

happy (early) thanksgiving everybody!! my mom and i will be en route to visit drew, rachel and emmitt tomorrow so i wont have a chance to blog but i will be thinking of everyone!! it will be so awesome to see their new place and just spend the day with them. hopefully you all have a great time gobbling up turkey, mash potatoes, stuffing, and pecan pie!! aand, then rest up for a crazy day of shopping on friday! my fingers are crossed that azura kicks ass friday...send us good thoughts!!! love you guys :)

cjd walk

hi all!
one of the girls that i have been lucky enough to meet through the craziness that has been cjd was sweet enough to include dad in a recent cjd walk. i sent her a picture of dad and his info and she sent me the picture of him around the walkers neck. i was so touched that she emailed me the picture. i know dad was looking down having a ball that he was being honored. i wish it could have been me wearing his neck, but i am just happy jessie was able to wear him. its a cute touch that the picture was taken on my birthday...feels about right, haha :) i love you dad! and thank you nikki and jessie!!!!!!!!!!!!!

do you agree?

so people magazine just named hugh jackman the sexiest man alive in 2008. what do you think? nothing against hugh, as he is, no doubt, a good-looking man...just not who i would have picked. i was loving matt damon in that spot...for sure my favorite. or aaron fox?? (ha, ok that just slipped!) or john kelley?? (oops, another slip).

its funny, these days there really arent any celebrities that i just loooove. i think the gossip girl boys are adorable, always have a soft spot for andy roddick, and still love the backstreet boys. these arent "sexy men" though...they are cute and adorable. the sexiest man definitely needs to be all man. otherwise i think it loses credibility and becomes the latest teen mag poster kid. maybe daniel craig? matt lauer? joe biden? edward norton? people who arent soo damn in your face. no more george clooney (sexy, yes. but too unoriginal). brad pitt (same)...you get where i am going...

i got it!!! ricky gervais!!! ok, so he probably doesnt come to mind…

8 eternal truths we can learn from tykes...

1. breakfast is the most important meal of the day. even when there isnt a prize in the box.

2. your world can be half-real and half-imaginary.

3. if theres even the slightest doubt, hit the potty before you leave (i can attest to this...always always obey this one...haha).

4. homework blows. bring work home with you and itll ruin your night. and your marriage.

5. theres a reason they dont give credit cards to 8-year-olds. youre supposed to save up for a new toy.

6. the coolest adults are the ones who listen.

7. adrenaline is the greatest drug.

8. rain isnt something to curse but to enjoy. hurry up, before it clears.

time to move to california?!

umm, so we had snow flurries yesterday. gross!?? haha. it was so freakin cold, there just arent words to describe it. after i spent years out west for college and work my inter-wirings have never been the same. i love sunshine and warmth. now dont get me wrong, i do love seeing the seasons change. but seriously, can we implement a rule that says the temperature is never allowed to dip below 50 degrees. now theres a political policy id love to see debated. haha. but in all honesty, its feeling like time to head back out west and thaw out. :) ohhh, california dreamin.....

birthday weekend!

here are a few pictures from our opening party and my birthday weekend. it was a blast and hope you have fun looking at them. they came out a little small and not-so-picture-perfect, but hopefully you get the idea, haha. ohhhhhh what a night......



thank you!!!!!

thank you to everyone for the birthday wishes!!!!! aaand, sba, i appreciate the way we have decided to look at getting older...we are now officially 21 (plus 4). ha, sounds great to me too!!!!

i had an awesome weekend. the grand opening party was fabulous and seeing aaron was awesome. i will post pics soon so you all can enjoy them too.

happy monday everyone!!!

hey its OK!

...to not consider lust a particularly deadly sin. or pride. or even sloth.

...to start your to-do list with a task you have already done.

...to tell your family that you met your current boyfriend through mutual friends and leave out the fact that those friends were Bud and Weiser.

...to begin thinking about lunch at 9:35 A.M.

...to shout "I am not!!!!!!!!!" when he claims you are hormonal.

...to smirk when you see the big, tough guys at your gym tripping on the ellipical machine.

...to demand to be taken off speakerphone.

...to RSVP without a plus-one.

...to bail on plans because the grinch is on. you do not turn your back on little cindy lou-who.

birthday birthday!!!

thanks to everyone who got sloppy with me last night for my birthday! though it continued until 4am this morning when i decided to finally get 4 hours sleep before work, i had a blast! our grand opening party also went really well. im so excited to be a part of azura. i got another job opportunity yesterday...funny how things always happen when they arent necessary. i mean, where was that a month ago, huh?! haha. so im looking into it just for rational purposes, and ill keep you posted.

today has been a little rough around the edges...nothing a lot of bagels and treats cant handle. i think were all going out again tonight...i think im getting too old for this! haha. my body hates me. haha. buuuut, aaron flew all the way here from california to surprise me for my birthday!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! OMG OMG OMG OMG OMG! hes spending the weekend with me. shiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiit. haha. i was speechless when he showed up at our party.…

tis the season

i heard my first Christmas song of the season on the radio this morning on my way to work. November 12th...actually thats pretty good. i would have guessed it would have started earlier!! haha. the Christmas season makes me happy...reminds me of being a little kid. reminds me of simple pleasures...candy canes, Santa, cookies and milk, and decorating Christmas trees.

on another note, im not liking all the "firsts" we are having to go through...my first birthday without my dad, my moms, their anniversary, thanksgiving, Christmas and new years. all that coming up in the next 2 months. thats a lot of great things that he made all the better, that will be very difficult to understand without him. i want so bad to understand that i will be ok in this life. i want so bad to know that im doing well. i want so bad to look my dad in the eye and tell him a joke that will crack him up so hard he will want to hear more. i want to take him to a movie and talk to him about boys. i want to m…

international cjd day...

just wanted to wish those that have been affected by cjd the very best on this international day. im actually quite honored to know that there is a day to celebrate the amazing lives that we are all a part of...daughters, sisters, friends, wives, husbands, brothers, dads, moms, sons, nieces, nephews, aunts, uncles, etc. and have an opportunity to help honor the lives of those we lost in which we played that role.

so, on this special day, forever november 12, i want to honor and pay my respects to those lives lost to cjd. especially you dad, the most amazing man i have ever known. i love you, miss you, and want to honor you today (and everyday).

i look forward to new developments in cjd research and hopefully one day a cure. i hope to be a part of the ongoing process that is research and development. i love the girls that ive met and want to thank them for their ongoing support. i truly love you all!

party weekend

this friday we are having a grand opening party at azura!!!!! free drinks, food, music and sales! then heading out on the town for a super birthday weekend...along with working tons, but ehh being hungover is alright every now and again. haha. i mean im only 25 once!

so, to all those that are partying with me this weekend, i cant wait!!!!!!

things that would horrify your mom (if she knew)

these things crack me up. i love coming across these lists in magazines. thought id share this one.

1. the new guy you are dating is the same age...as her.

2. that you do not bother "hovering" when using a public toilet: yes, your skin actually makes contact with the seat.

3. you carry condoms in your make-up bag...and sometimes even use them.

4. you have a tatoo.

5. that you may never get married...ever.

6. you lied when you told heryour louis vuitton bag was a "knock-off"...it is how you used last months rent.

7. that you own a vibrator...in fact, several.

8. that the "virus" you had was actually the world's worst three-day hangover.

9. it is not running that helped you drop 2 dress sizes...who knew pole dancing was such great excercise.

there are soooo many more funny ones that i read, but a few were a bit inappropriate for this blog. i hope the few i listed will make you laugh. it did me...haha.

just thinking about dad...

so its almost my birthday...8 days to be exact. im going to be 25. i know that dad would love to celebrate with me. sooo, since he cant physically come to me to celebrate, i want to go to him. i think i will continue my tradition of letting a balloon go in his honor. on my birthday, i plan to go to his site, and let a balloon go. i think hed love that.

its been 9 months since that day. im not exactly sure what that means...its still so fresh, so sad. still something im pretty sure im in denial about. i will only call it "that day." i still cant say anything more grave than that. when i find myself having a bit of a down moment, i find that just picturing his face makes me smile. just thinking about his passion for life, work and family make me proud. i am one lucky daughter. (sister, too...huh, drew!! hahaha). i want my dad to know how he made our lives sparkle and shine. he made me believe...in life, in myself, in others. i am tring to rise above the hole in my heart to prov…

voting

so yesterday morning, first thing, i voted. i was on a voting high all day...it was the most fun thing ever! i felt the same way the first time i voted 4 years ago. i just find it to be so damn liberating. cue to today, congratulations obama! WOO!! im a little sleepy at work today cause i went to bed so late, but it was totally worth it.

while at work yesterday one of our security guys came and to chat. they always seem to do this...i swear they just need an ear every once in a while. so after like 30 minutes of BS chatting, he goes into why he has decided not to vote. he claims to hate both candidates so his answer was to boycott it all together. now normally id debate him and come back at that comment and explain why that is quite franly the most ignorant and uneducated decision he could make, but at this point i didnt care. all i said was that he then forfeits the right to bitch and moan about our political world. BAM! haha, just kidding.

but honestly, no candidate is perfect. duh. n…

sunday randomness

happy november!! crazy isnt it?! that only means one thing...good ol bday is only 13 days away!



happy belated halloween. here is a picture of ken and i showing off our moves at this dance party. there was a strobe light that you cant tell from the picture, but it definitely provided yours truly with the idea that she could dance. amazing how that happens. haha! i was a cat (um, after a ten hour work day and only 20 minutes you just put it together...haha, and ken was a member of the US swim team. pretty much, he just wanted a reason to be shirtless and in a speedo...hehe). it was a blast...minus having to get up and go to work the next day. EWW!



so this morning at church they mentioned everyones name that had died this past year. john kelley was one of them, and we now have flowers at work in his memory. i love you dad! i think about my dad everday, and all the greatness that he embodied. everything we went through was truly tragic, but i am proud of how much i have grown up. how i have…

welcome to azura!

sooo, it has finally come!! my mom and i are officially managing azura, which is officially open and running. pieces are still coming together, but we have survived the first 60 hour work week. dear lord?! im struggling this AM as i was out late last night for halloween, but its been great. to the left is a cheeky picture of us just having fun. cant wait to show more pictures as we go!!

cjd memorial walk

thanks to nikki, dad will now be memorialized along the cjd walk. he will have his name and date added. i am blogging really quick at work so i will include info about all of this later and what its all about, but i was just so excited about this that i wanted to write something real speedy. i am so floored to have met these amazing people through the blog world. i hope everyone is having a happy halloween!! cant wait to hear about peoples costumes. and pictures!!

kelley girls back in action!

sleep?! whats that!? mom and i have had a very full few weeks...putting in some 60+ hour weeks. for the first few days of painting we went home with pink paint in our hair and all over our clothes and shoes. haha!! it has been hysterical painting the walls (um, they are 14 foot walls...so um, yea try and picture that!!!!), acid-washing the floor (um, hello acid is crazy and our floor was steaming!!) and the insane job of organizing thousands of products. good lord! but, i am so happy to be back working with my sidekick. (aaaaand, there are adorable boys everywhere...from the property manager, to the facilites manager), so we are having a great time. its been tough though, and we are working 7 days a week.

the other night (perfectly freezing and pouring rain) a work friend and one of my good guy friends went to see quarantine. nothing ends a long day at work better than a rabid-infested zombie movie!! haha. anyone seen it?! it was fun cause my guy friend is a baby when it comes to scar…

meet lacy

mom told me about this blog that was in the newest CJD newsletter. i had not read it yet, but she was eager to share this with me. her name is lacy and she lost her dad to sporadic CJD in october of 2007. you can read all about her on her blog: http://www.runlacyrunforcjd.blogspot.com. she has the same ideas we all do for wanting to spread the word and raise money. after reading her blog i felt so connected to her, i emailed her. i am looking forward to learning more about her and her story, as i hope you all enjoy her blog as well.

nothing like a little baby pink mascara...

officially started work at azura today. it was a crazy labor-intensive day. mom and i tag-teamed and painted 4 walls. baby pink!!! we had to go buy the paint, and the guy at sherwin williams was hilarious (and im pretty sure...no, scratch that, definitely sure, in love with my mom). he was flirting, it was adorable. anyway, there is so much to do at the store...we spent hours with lights, shelves, walls, etc. its getting really exciting.

i looove crafts, but have never been good at keeping clean. i got pink paint all over my eyelashes (um, yea, how you ask. NO IDEA!!!!). mom thought it was hysterical. we got it all over our clothes, hair, shoes, face, hands. good time, tiring, but ultimately funny.

i cant wait to share pictures as we get things together. its sooooo excititing!!! :)

wearing shorts for you dad!!

so i just got home from seeing nights in rodanthe. not what i had expected at all. WOW! i wont say too much in case any of you are going to go see it, but it definitely fueled my day of "daddy thinking". i have thought about dad all day. its funny, all these little things are bringing back memories of him. like this morning. i was brushing my teeth and my head flooded with the smell of listerine mouth wash that i used to smell after my dad kissed me in the morning before leaving for work. or earlier when i was eating peanut butter. i loved how my dad spread his english muffins every morning with either it or jelly. he was so simple. i am so much like him. god damn, where is he. and why is he not back yet. this business trip is lasting a tad too long.

you know i learned a lot about myself and life while he was sick. i learned how to take care of someone else so selflessly, and not care what it takes to make someone smile. i learned how to love trimming my dads nose hairs, his …

bring on the cane and arthritis meds

omg so i am officially inside the month countdown until i turn 25?! JESUS! how in gods name did that happen?! id like to go back to campdowhatyouwant at john gardners tennis ranch, being 16 and learning how to drive, turning 21 and realizing i really can drink that much and survive (sorta, right mom!!!! hahaha), or when i was a teeny little tot with my blonde girls and grumpy 'tude. but 25?!!? NO!

haha, ok in all seriousness i really am happy to be getting older. i love knowing what i like, what i dont, and not being shy about saying what i think. whether it be clothes, politics, entertainment, jobs, friends, boys or life in general, i love having an opinion and knowing that even if its not the same as everyone else's, its mine, and its enough. i like being able to assert myself and feel like i have something to say no matter the situation. i love being educated and smart about the world. i like being financially independent to make decisions, regardless how frivilous. i love k…

the best parts of debate #3...

moments like the one to the right!!
the debates this election have been pretty uneventful, aside from all the fun the media is having mocking sarah palin. i, for one, LOVE debates and economic talk, but even as a girl who has studied economic policy for years, they are boring me!!!!!!! last night proved that mccain is a big baby. he needs to learn how to control his emotions. actually, you know what, i take that back. the guy just needs to stop trying to be president. he is 72...pleeeeasse, j. mac go enjoy your houses and cars and relax! you dont need to be president. leave that up to people that have the energy to do it, and have people backing them that are NEVER going to utter the phrase "gosh darn" in public. we are the united states, and we need to show the world why. this picture is the period at the end of the sentence stating why you, mccain, need to wave your white flag to obama.

book for dad

i recently pitched my book idea around to a few publishing companies and one made an offer. sounds great right?! now, im as much a lawyer as reese witherspoon in legally blonde, but i know when something is off. i read and re-read the contract that i was presented and decided it was a bad deal. that said, im still pitching it, focusing my energy in getting it typed up and completed, and tickled that i am getting it out there. buuuut, i am thrilled that the door has been opened. it is possible!! HAHA!!! sooo daddio, ill get there. may take a little time, but dammit, im getting a book published. :)

me, flick and ken

so the three of us decided to brave the "lancaster club scene" and go to this exclusive after party...HA!! we were shocked to see how many tweens (white, i might add) want so bad to either be gothic, whores, rock stars, emo, or punk rockers. um, ok, well i give an A for effort. it was the craziest sight...felt like urban outfitters, american apparel, hot topic and every tacky store ever threw up and this was the mess it created. now i LOVE urban outfitters, and love seeing what people put together. but i just cant explain what i saw. EEK! sooo, long story short, we had a blast taking pictures of ourselves all over lancaster just being goofy. please enjoy...
(sorry no pictures of all the craziness we saw...it was freaky! and i didnt want to take pics of weird kids that, to be quite honest, scared me)...and i usually LOOOVE unique looks.

officially a brunette

for a little while now i have been contemplating dyeing my hair brown. fall is coming with a vengeance right now so the change seemed fitting. so, without further adieu....

haha so obviously these are self-taken!! i only got it done about 10 minutes ago, so for now these will have to do. but i LOVE it!

welcome to the family emmitt!

here is the newest member of our family: emmitt kelley!!!! mom and i went down to MD to visit drew and rachel this past weekend and to meet emmitt. WOW! loove him! love you guys!!

i got in a fight with the glitterati...

and lost. haha but serisouly, how fun is this! you can have fun with any picture, anytime.

why every daughter needs her father

(yes i know the picture is really blurry, but i wanted this post to include one of my dad's and my favorite pictures of us so i had to take a picture of a picture...haha lame i know, but it will have to do)....

that was the title of a book that caught my eye as i walked by it at target the other day. i read it as it was just an easy read of 100 reasons why a daughter needs her father. it was the cutest book i have ever seen. i debated buying it, which i may go back and do just so i have it as a reference, but i loved every reason. i think every daughter does need her father. i am coming to terms with the fact that what i have been through has tested my strength and what it means to be happy and whole, strong and confident. i am learning the true meaning of what it is to be a grown-up, and will the loss of my father i feel that i am a work in progress...and i think i am trudging this path the best i can. i think dad is proud. i think i make him laugh everyday...i think i am growing …

9/11

can you believe it has been 7 years since the attacks on the world trade center, pentagon and flight 93!? i will never forget the moment we realized what was happening. i was walking into my senior year sociology class with mr mlnyck. he had the TV on when class was beginning and left it on even after the bell rang. obviously it was fun to think that maybe that days class was going to be fun...tv in school, afterall!! sadly, it was not a movie we were watching. it was real life. it was new york. it was terrorism and evil at its finest. i just want to take a minute and honor those that lost thier lives. those that lost someone they love. we are all tied together as a species and i, for one, think the aftermath of all of it is an unbelievable example of how the united states can and will rally despite anything. as a nation we will never forget. but we will grow stronger. god bless the USA.

hey its ok...

sometimes i come across these little pages in magazines and i loooove them. soo cool and inspirational. and quite frankly i agree. this one tells you things its ok to think, do, not do, etc.

...to only paint the two nails that are on show in your peep-toes

...to think about your eBay bid during sex

...if you have never quite mastered that public-toilet hovering move

...to dump a perfectly nice guy. so what if he is kind, responsible and his ancestors all had full heads of hair? that does not make him right for you.

...to delete any email that pops into your inbox with a subject line beginning FWD: FWD: FWD:

...to own more eyeshadow than you can possibly wear in one lifetime

...to skip the whole "i hope we can still be friends" charade. you have enough friends


these types of fun things will be a usual post for my blog. i love seeing what i agree with, what i do not, etc.

here's how you know you are growing up...

you wake up in the morning, regardless of your alarm going off. don't you hate that? you get so used to your routine that on the weekends your body is telling you at 8 in the morning that you have already “slept in.” 8 in the morning! geez, that used to be the crack of dawn in college!mornings are not the same without that initial cup of coffee. somehow redbulls, monsters, mountain dew are just not great choices anymore unless you want to sit in front of your computer shaking involuntarily. that one cup of coffee at the office officially starts your day and you are “ready” to work!making lunch dates is now an option. since you do get that one hour break in your day now, you might as well put it to use, right? it is the perfect amount of time to do have a “coffee shop” date. you know. go for coffee, and if things are normal enough, venture off to dinner. if only this would have worked in college I would have saved A LOT of time!talking about favorite TV shows is a great topic of co…

check it out

i love ricky gervais. soo soo much. so i just wanted to give him a shout out. seeing as this is my blog, i figure i can pretty much be as dorky as i want. so, heres to you ricky gervias, please keep doing what you do. youre fucking hilarious. and i cant get enough.

if youre in the need of a great laugh, or need to kill some time, check out his website:
http://www.rickygervais.com/

are you there god, its me hilary

when you sit and think about it, i mean really think about it, life is so interesting. and without getting all profound and philosophical, life really is strange. more than anything, i enjoy watching people. its so intriguing to watch people do anything...walk down the street, talk on the phone, eat, run, interact. we are all human, and yet soooooooooooooo vastly different. the beauty in that is that i have realized that no matter what stupid, funny, outrageous or crazy thing i do in life, someone has done something wayyyyyyyyyyyy stranger, more annoying, or funnier. i love that!

so, god, all is ask is that you continue to help us through this journey. i think its time we were thrown a bone. win the lottery? ill take it. land a great job? sure. crush on a cool guy? um, yea do that every minute of every day, but ill always take more! just more of the same too. happiness, love, comfort and ease. so thanks. to you and everyone. the people in my life are there for a reason. so thanks. (eve…

i think i need to get me one of these

how cute are these!!? theyre postcards. BUT, for people like me, and my best friend ali, they are maps!!! no more getting lost in the worst parts of town, different cities, or heading west instead of east for hours by mistake. ehh, who am i kidding, thats part of why our lives are so fun. and quite frankly, we have fun getting lost. beyyyyyyyyyyyyyyond lost. haha. but, these postcards are pretty cute. had to share...

back to school

school is back in session. and with my apartment right by Franklin and Marshall College, i am in the midst of all the hustle and bustle of students. god bless living across the street from a fraternity. it makes me feel like im still in college. i have thoughts of going over and acting like my college sorority sister self...and acting like i belong. haha. i mean, i figure if i bring beer over im welcome!!!!

...with summer coming to a close, that inevitably means the coming of fall. ugh. i love shorts...tshirts...sunglasses...polos. i am not a jeans girl. not a sweater girl. hello, global warming...can you hear me?? id appreciate if you showed your true colors and kept the sun and all its glory here for the next few months. thanks.

a rock star and her brother

my mom and i recently went down to owings mills to visit drew and rachel. it was great to hang out...we spent the day in hunt valley. doesnt that just sound rich?? it does to me. anyway, we visited wegmans and other shops. it was a beautiful day as you can tell by the pictures. haha notice the sunglasses rachel and i are wearing...drew teases us constantly that they are HUUUGE and take up our faces. i love them!! hahaha....ohhh bro....how i love to embarass thee :)

having wayyyy to much fun in a cab!!!!

we took pictures throughout the night but these were hysterical cause we were in a cab that was by far the WORST driver ever...i swear, we are lucky to be alive. we thought, what the hell, might as well have fun, so we were screwing around. haha, these crack me up just remembering this ride. um, i think ali and aaron are so cute...i really have no idea what the hell im doing in any of these. but enjoy them, as we were pretty much just being crazy and fun. hahaha....what a fun weekend :)

the city that never sleeps

happy birthday stern!
so i was right, not much sleep. and i forgot my contact stuff so the precious little sleep i got, i had to do with my contacts in. HORRIBLE! haha. anway, it was a crazy, whirlwind weekend, but it was so much fun reuniting with everyone. attached is a picture of (left to right) me, jesse, ali, stern, sarah, and then just one of stern and i. more details later, im a little too tired right now, haha.

looking to be a weekend with no sleep...

i am getting so ansy about this weekend in nyc. im hoping sterns birthday is going to be so fun. i cant wait to share pictures of us white kids trying to dance!! haha. if you are going to be in town, please call and meet up. i will be sure to post pictures when i get them...have a great weekend!!

a little mental cleansing

so tonight at 7, my mom and i are heading over to hospice for a bereavement class. its for an hour and a half, and can i just tell you how excited i am. i think this is going to be really good. obviously my use of the word "excited" is not the usual way you would use it...i mean i get excited about boys, and music and amusement parks which is a little different. i am excited in the sense that i love remembering my dad. i love thinking about him and honoring his life. i love thinking about all the good he gave me and how much he taught me. he was my #1 fan, and i really am empty without him. with him i had no fear that id succeed in life. i knew that despite all the bumps i hit, i would be ok. that has been taken away. i am vulnerable. we all are.

ok ok, no more of that right now. i could talk like that forever. but this should be a good cleansing. and tomorrow we are meeting with ted for coffee. that will be really positive too. he has a way of making me feel calm about it al…

meteor shower

did anyone remember to catch the perseid meteor shower last night/this morning?! for the first time in a long time, i forgot about it, ahhh!! (i have been wayyyyy too excited and into the olympics). its known to be a pretty cool shower, they say you can see as many as 60 meteors per hour. thats pretty crazy! ohh astronomy...how i love thee. haha.

thank you

just want to take a minute to say how proud of my mom and brother i am. really, i love and am proud of all my family (aunts, uncles, cousins, etc) but these two deserve a special shout out. (my dad belongs at the top of this too, and i want to honor him by saying how much i love and miss him every day. life will never be the same without you dad, but we will be strong for you!). PS, for those in the know, doesnt my dad look great in that top pic!! my mom and him are SO ADORABLE! i will be adding more posts for my dad, as i learn to move forward and come to terms with it all. i will add pictures from all stages of his life. and pray to god i can snag a man like him...hahaha.

first of all, dre dawg you kick ass. my god. you are getting your MBA and graduating with honors. all the while balancing a full time job (which, by the way you kick ass at) and being an amazing brother, son and husband. i mostly know the brother stuff, but i know the others are true. haha.

and mom. my best friend. i…

proud to be an american

holy shit! the united states 4x100 meter relay ousted France by 8 one hundredths of a second!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! watching it was one of the most amazing moments in athletic history. i was screaming at the TV and just sooooo happy and excited. it was utterly phenomenal...and sums up what the Olympics are all about. congrats boys, you make us all proud to be americans!

how do those trash talking words taste, France? oh not so good? hahahahaha.....

olympic golden boy

congrats on gold medal #1 m. phelps!!

the beijing 2008 summer olympics are under way, and it has been such fun watching it! the great thing about michael phelps, in my opinion, is that he is so all-american. hes known for working his ass off to do what he needs to do. hes not popular for being hot, rich or tan. hes not david beckham. he is chasing something that has never been done before (8 gold medals) and might (make that probably) achieve it. during interviews he is so normal. so not perfect. so ordinary. i love that.

aside from that, everything about the olympics is exciting. and honestly, the opening ceremony was a specticle beyond words. way to go beijing...you really know how to WOW the world. thank you for that.

sounds of childhood

have you ever wished you were 12 again? probably not forever, but maybe for a day?

while i was walking down the street to mail a letter an ice cream truck drove by me. i thought i heard the familiar jingle, but not until i turned around did i see the truck. who knew they still had those!?!?! i actually did not know that they were still around. as my brother and i reminisced, we laughed about how we probably would not buy anything from them nowadays as you can get so much more for your money at the grocery store or actual ice cream place, and it can not be the cleanest ice cream, right?! haha. but it got me thinking...

sometimes i miss the good ol' days when we played outside until it got dark and mom and dad had to shout for us to come home. a time when you really earned those showers, what with dirt-filled nails, graveled feet and chlorine hair. the days when it was ok to get sunburned and not reapply sunscreen every 5 minutes. a time without the thought of bills, laundry or gas pr…

blonde road trip!!

how many blondes does it take to pump gas? apparently, more than two!

a few days ago my mom and i decided to road trip it to king of prussia mall, about an hour away. we have our spot where we always go to go to the bathroom. this time was no different, but my mom also wanted to get gas. we parked, and took care of the bathroom situation first. then, we got in the car and drove to the pump (about 100 yards away). we got out, and as she went to the nozzle, i went inside to get sodas and gum. i came out to my mom cracking up. and by that i mean "susie kelley laughing", totally hilarious!! i started cracking up and she said i needed to reverse the car, as she pulled too far ahead. easy enough. (oh if only....)

we went to put in the nozzle and it did not fit. we were hysterical so i figured it was just us not being able to control ourselves and was meant to do this and we just needed to press harder. she was laughing too hard, so i tried. i could not understand why we were struggl…

ready, set, go

hello!
at any given time, i have about a million thoughts and ideas in my head. those who know me, know this all too well...haha!! ive decided, at the suggestion of my aunt (thats you aunt martha!!) to start a blog. nothing serious, nothing too crazy, just a personal space where i can vent and release some of what is going on in my head. maybe that will help me with my ADD...but probably not, haha, as im sure to just fill it will other things :)...what can i say, it runs in the family.

im totally new to this blogging thing, but i love to write and think this is going to be so fun! i am so excited you all get to follow me on my blog as i chat about all sorts of things...please chime in with any and all of your thoughts and ideas and jokes and everything!!!! thisll be a family thing!

so, here we go...