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Showing posts from September, 2009

i thought

i thought moving to LA was going to clear my head a little. i thought it was going to help me to understand why certain things happen sometimes, and that my life will work out. i thought i was going to find a great apartment, find a job, and hopefully hang with some good friends. i thought a change of pace, scenery, state, and routine was going to make me feel like i was bettering myself.

did i think wrong?

i find that i am missing all the things that make me happy. i miss my mom. i miss gamma. i miss going for walks, going to movies, and girl-chat drives to king of prussia talking about our lives. i miss laughing with besties, and watching the leaves change. i hate being cold, but the east coast is home to me, and i think i need to go back.

dont get me wrong...i have some great friends out here, have been doing some really fun things, and had a blast showing mom around (which, annoyingly cant happen nearly as often as i want. which would be, say, every day). ha, yea. its true. ive had …

thank god its friday. literally :)

patty cake
bite me
butter
sugar & salt
vanilla
cake batter
baby cakes
batter
sweet bite

ok...im clearly bored and work...and daydreaming of names for this cupcake place my mom and cathy are going to run. anyway, there are some. now onto halloween costume ideas. i have a couple of ideas im throwing around. ill keep y'all posted. lunch time!

its 2:17pm...what are you thinking about?

if you are at work, its most likely why isnt it 5 yet? or better yet, 5 o'clock on friday not thursday. its kinda depressing that some days i take it hour by hour, counting down until i go home. just today, a coworker was counting down the day starting at 10am...first looking forward to a lunch break, now eagerly awaiting freedom. why do we do this?! ohh yea, bills. they need to be paid. dammit.

we spend so much time at work...god damn. sometimes it really is a drag.
ok, so now its 2:30. im pretty ready to go home. im sorta looking forward to getting some groceries tonight...watching a little CSI:miami, and making some dinner. im excited to clean up my apartment a little bit and check some emails. hopefully talk to drew and hear about his day.
you know the kicker?? once i get home, time will fly until its morning again and i repeat my day.

but im doing it. working hard...making money. (ha, well thats up for debate). im making a name for myself. (look, this is my pep talk...stop rollin…

hi dad :)

there are some nights when i get into a zen mood. i put on some fun tunes, think about life, and feel like blogging. these are the moments i contemplate those i love, those i wish to love, things i could do without, and thoughts of the future. these are also the moments i think about you, dad.

you see, i miss my dad. i miss so many things about him. his smile, his advice, his opinions. his drive, dedication, wit, work ethic, and motivation. his emails, phone calls, frustrations, loves, distastes, and his face. his ability to make me feel successful. his strength.

i have a lot of qualities from my dad, and for that i am very grateful. now if i could just find a guy like him (right mom!?). hes watching over me...this much i know.

i think he is my north star. and for all my fears (rational or not), i truly feel safe when i think about him. i wish he was here. i dont understand. i want to raise money to cure CJD. i want him back. mom and i are strong as steel, but he should be here. i wonder…

flicky!!!

ali flick i love you.

i think time stops when we chat. i really do. i mean, its nothing to kill a few hours chatting...and yet its never enough time :) i am so lucky to have someone like that. thank god we love to listen to each other talk, bitch, laugh, cry, be silly or annoying, stupid, sad, funny, smart, loving, or really nothing at all. you see, ali, you make me feel important. and quite frankly, myself. i feel so refreshed after i talk to you. i feel so much closer than i actually am to you. i feel like we are bicoastal besties and that the only reason we cant hang out as much as we want is cause life is stupidly expensive, and i dont quite make 6 figures. close, but not yet :) hehe...



just talking to you makes me excited for the future...and us living near each other. each with our boyfriends or hubbies (hello ryan and aaron...err, whoever, HAHAHAHA!!!) in one of our many houses. thats right, while we will have a house on the east, we wil definitely need a west coast house. or at …

and you thought your monday morning was tough...

i flipped on the news this AM (thats right dad, your daughter watches the news...and on her own free will, no less!!!!) only to hear about a 30-year old man assaulting an 83 year old woman in her home last night. he broke in, and assaulted her. wtf?!?!

ok, there are way too many issues here to even begin thinking about how to dissect this. first, are you really that bored? or angry? PMSing, perhaps? lonely? a stupid fucktard??

yea, im going with the last one. what kind of person assaults, well anyone really, but an 83 year old woman? dear god.

how does someones interworkings get so messed up.

thats all the time, energy and space this story gets, as my blog is not dedicated to all things wrong with the world. it is, however, a great place to vent frustrations regarding stupid things i hear. kinda fun. and this one was just nuts?!!!

hey, its ok!

...to be totally judge-y about plastic surgery, but then whiten your teeth obsessively

...to order only the stuff on the menu that you can pronounce

...to be secretly terrified of getting sucked down the airplane toilet

...to write down the key points you want to cover before making an important guy phone call

...to ask for a surprise party

...to believe that foods eaten while nursing a pal through a breakup are "sympathy" calories and dont count

...to consider Skee-Ball your best part

...to buy the jumbo-sized box of condoms. you have a goal. the goal is the expiration date. GO!

happy birthday foxes!

haha, that can totally be taken two ways. (they are cute, so it works...haha)

last night was the birthday party for aaron and bryan. they are now offically 30!!! its so exciting :)
anyway, i had sent them birthday cards earlier in the week, but was soooooo psyched to see them out. it had been a little while. one of my best friends, craig dewey, came with me. he came over to my apartment earlier and we hung out before we headed out.

ok, so lets address the elephant in the room. or on the blog, rather ;)
i am not one of those people that "get over" someone...at least i dont phrase it like that. i think that sounds incredibly rude and ignorant. sure, my relationship or opinion of someone may change, but its a shift in perspective. "im over you" is just stupidly mean. what happened between aaron and i sucked, sure, but i ultimately think his billing me was a reaction to him feeling hurt by me first. i have had numerous convos about this with ali and craig and they agree. o…

"damn, yous a sexy bitch..."

thanks akon!
i know, i know, my music taste is amazing. and very tasteful. its the title of akons new song...and i think it does a pretty good job summarizing what i look like right now.

you see, im recovering from lip surgery i had on friday. not sure how this little lip issue started (as, quite frankly, the past 6 weeks of my life have been a fantastic blur), but i had a mucosele develop on my lip. or, rather, in it. essentially its when the mucus cells in your lip retain liquid and create a cyst. pretty yummy stuff. anyway, i had put up with it long enough and couldnt take it any more. it was starting to really grind at me. i kept biting it, it was getting in my way when i would talk, and after i confirmed that there was no chance it would go away on its own, i knew i had to get it out.

i googled oral surgery centers in los angeles and picked the one that was pretty close to my apartment. long story short, i got it out. HURT LIKE A BITCH!!!!!!!!! please excuse my language, but when he…

10 reasons you're the best

youre the kind of person who realizes that the airport security people - breathe, calm - are just doing their job

on the bus, you stand up for pregnant ladies (take a hint, men!)

when you borrow the dress, you return it - dry-cleaned

you tell her when she has spinach in her teeth (instantly fixable), but not when she has gained five pounds (you know she already knows)

you like target and tiffany about equally

you offer to babysit, and - yep - acutally do

you arent perfect...but then none of the best people are

you dance, giggle, hug, sing, curse and cry so that no one is left wondering how you are feeling

you dont post pics where you look great and everyone else looks nauseous

you give great birthday



of course there are zillions more reasons why you are the best. these are just fun and light-hearted. know that you are amazing the way you are. (cause i sure think so)

happy one month anniversary to me!

haha! :) i have been working at american apparel for one month.
on my way to work this morning i was talking to my mom, and we were talking about how crazy it was that she visited me 3 weeks ago. what kind of time warp am i in?!

ok so this post has taken me all day with work and everything. happy anniversary...is it fridya yet??! haha

hey, its ok...

...to have the odd crazy night out on a sunday. it is technically still the weekend.

...to be secretly glad summer is winding down. no need to wax every inch of your body in autumn...phew

...to spend three hours writing a three-sentence email to the guy youre trying to ask out

...to want to kill anyone who dares talk to you on a monday morning

...to not quite have the emotional strength to delete that toxic ex-boyfriend from your facebook friends

...to cringe whenever you see the abbreviation LOL. doubly so when its LMAO. laughing my ass off? not remotely - and even less so now

...to own green, blue and gold eyeliners, but end up sticking to good old black

...if you pick up a coin in the street. but draw the line at pennies...unless theyre heads up

...if you get the barman to serve you by accidentally-on-purpose giving him an eyeful of your cleavage. whatever works


i just love reading these in magazines. just so entertaining :)

i believe

aunt martha sent me this this morning. it almost brought me to tears (happy tears), and made me feel so good. all these things are so true, and just gave me the chills.

i believe...birth certificates show that we were born..death certificates show that we died. pictures show that we lived!

i believe...that just because two people argue,doesn't mean they don't love each other. and just because they don't argue, doesn't mean they do love each other.

i believe...that we don't have to change friends if we understand that friends change.

i believe...that no matter how good a friend is, they're going to hurt you every once in a while and you must forgive them for that.

i believe...that true friendship continues to grow, even over the longest distance. same goes for true love.

i believe...that you can do something in an instant that will give you heartache for life.

i believe...that it's taking me a long time and im still working to become the person i want to be.

i bel…

happy (belated) one year anniversary!!!

my blog is officially one years old!!!!!! as of august 2009, i have been blogging for a year. i cant believe i missed it. well, actually, i can as i was in the middle of moving 3000 miles from home.

over the past year, this blog has given me more therapy, joy, pain, and perspective than i could have ever imagined. what started off as a suggestion from aunt martha morphed into an amazing passion of mine. it led me to write my book, "heaven couldnt wait" in honor of my dad.
it made me understand that i am human, and will always struggle with life (like any, and all, of you). it made me understand how loved i am, and how much strength and confidence people have in me. it made me laugh and cry, remembering and living through very real feelings.

this blog is something i cant wait to grow. more posts, pictures, stories, and anecdotes will be coming. it will remain a testament to my dad, as he is the reason i began it. little snippets of him will be sure to sneak in here, as i continu…

"did you watch the VMAs last night?"

...um, MTV has pretty much sucked since we were in high school. it was all fun and games at the height of boy band mania, but not so much now. i mean, britney spears is a tragic train wreck, michael jackson died, green day, U2, coldplay and other noteworthy bands dont get within 500 yards of it, and they havent played a music video since 1999. or thereabouts :) however, a coworker must start her day with daily gossip, so that was the topic du jour. "omg, i totally dont get lady gaga...like, that performance freaked me out" was among one of the topics we discussed.

yea, i got nothing. i dont listen to her music. and she never wears pants. trying to be stupidly crazy is not cool. its stupid. i respect uniqueness, not overtly needing attention. theres a HUGE difference.

this coming from a girl who does, however, like lil wayne, flo rida and akon. yea, i dont get it either, but i blame it on a ghetto gene i have inside me. stems back to when dad and i would bust out to nelly in th…

congratulations sba!!

saturday, september 12th, 2009...sarah got engaged! :)
i know what you all must be thinking. you thought itd be me...figuring it made the most sense that id settle down first. hahahah!??!?! i couldnt even keep that joke going for 5 seconds :) excuse me while i finish laughing ;)

anyway, congratulations sarah!!! i am so excited for you guys. i dont know much about all of this, except for what i learned from drew...so i have to say im pinching myself for you. i cant wait to see the ring!! :)

all my best to you guys...youre both amazing, and i am so happy tim is a part of the family. (now can we please all cross our fingers for a cool guy for me. i seems to date the douchbags) :)

lets take a moment

and remember those lives lost on 9/11/2001.
can you believe it has been so long.

i remember exactly where i was, what i felt, and how unbelievable
the sight on the TV was.

so, in memory of all those lives lost, the families left behind, and that fateful
day that exposed unheard of evil, lets all take a moment to think about how
lucky we all are. i love my family and friends and am so happy to be alive.
thank you all for being in my life :) xoxo

what the hell was that?!

i found out why california would prefer you to not talk on the phone while driving. well, actually, they forbid it. you can catch glimpses of people who still chat anyway, or are just using bluetooth, desperate to text, chat, or whatever.

so here i was...chatting with mom while on the way to work. i was heading down melrose, about a half mile from the freeway, when i felt a jolt and heard a huuuge crash. wtf?!??! i swore for about 2 minutes on the phone and looked to my right. all that was left of my passenger side mirror were two cords, flapping in the wind. i had hit a parked car, and knocked my mirror clear off. ?!?!?!??! ok, its funny now. and the more people i talk to, the funnier it gets, as i am starting to wonder how and why it took me so long to do this!! haha.

now, remember, i am still on the phone. in shock, shaking a tiny bit and still swearing, i laugh for a sec. and ask the obvious, "hey mom, what the fuck do i do?!" what i wouldnt give to see her face that very…

these updates will get better!

i swear, i will update more frequently coming soon! i looooove to blog, and i looove to update everyone on what im doing, thinking, wearing, saying, laughing about, loving, hating, or just randomly seeing.

for now, id like to share with you all that aarons birthday is in 9 days...hes going to be 30. of course my little brain is just filled with loads of fun ideas for it...it would be amazing if we were "something". flickster tells me he doesnt deserve me. (thats why shes my bestie!! haha)...but truthfully, id like to give this a second shot. i mean, we waited for us to be in the same god damn city. we are now. id like to think that turning 30 will turn on a switch that makes him realize that he has a great thing in front of him. i think we would make, do make, and did make a cute couple. yes, he made a bad/stupid/rude decision. i made mistakes too. lots. so, aaron, if youre reading this, lets try again :) no games, no stupid shit, just fun. just life. just real.

ok, back to th…

if i had a million dollars...ok, just $100

there are sooo many fun things i want to do to my apt.
for starters, get one or two more hanging hooks for scarves, necklaces and whatever else.
i also want to finally get those hanging letters at anthro and put HAK somewhere on a wall.
(you know, just in case i forget my initials or something)...haha. honestly...i just want to go nuts in anthro. sooo, those ideas are in the pipeline. as well as many others, but i wont bore you.

lets see. we work tomorrow. a holiday that is supposed to celebrate laborers, and we are working. hmm. ok. whatever.

thats all for now. clearly i dont have much to say today. well i do, but its not appropriate for my blog ;).

happy labor day everyone! :) catch ya later