Wednesday, January 30, 2013

sometimes perfection really does exist

ok not perfection, at least not how you may think of it. what i mean to insinuate is there are some days/moments in life where the company you are with makes life 'perfect'...this past weekend was that for me.

i think i blogged this same sentiment a couple weeks back when i spent the weekend at home. seems the bigger picture here is im pretty stoked about the company i keep.

so anyway, dowd came down to run the central park half marathon with me. we spent the weekend just being besties...lunches, dinners, desserts, coffee, walks, laughs, memories. it was amazing...honest to god, amazing!!

then came the run :) it was 16 degrees and one of the toughest courses ive run. the course consisted of two 6-mile loops of the park and a 1.1 mile run of the lower loop. the greatest part of it being in central park was the fact that for the 8am run jen and i left my apt at like 7:50am and were at our corral at 7:55am. we attempted to enter a faster corral (bibs were colored to denote how fast you have run previous halves) and we got booted. ha, literally rejected.

my knee flared up at about mile 3 so that royally sucked. it never loosened up so i internally panicked for most of the race. i cranked up tunes at parts in hopes id tune it such luck. ive had this particular pain before...nothing im hoping ice and ibuprofen cant help.

i finished in 1:52...not my best, but certainly a time i am proud of. judging by the way i felt, i definitely didnt think id run anywhere near that fast. jen and i met back up at my apt (good god, its impossible to run together in a race...but we fucking tried) and showered. feeling a bit lethargic, we headed out for coffee and bagels. WELL EARNED GOODNESS!!

spending the day with her was fabulous. we did all of the above activities and just laughed so hard all day. because i love her so much and were such good friends everything is so easy. between us we had so many one-liners and jokes, memories and stories that it reminded me why i dont put up with shitty people in life or fake friends. no need...ive got the real thing.

we talked about her moving to nyc...gooooood god, YES!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

so yea, pretty perfect. id say our dads are pretty fucking proud, wouldnt  you?

Photo: in honor of our dads, @jendowd5 and i killed it out there today!

Friday, January 25, 2013


i stumbled onto pinterest today (oh shush, you did too!)...and saw this poem. its so sweet and innocent and completely sums up what i used to think/say to my own pop and what i wish i could still say to him as i navigate  my still unclear 20s.

the decade we spend being twenty-somethings is a tough one. its so full of big questions and bigger confusions. its filled with constant change in the form of jobs, boyfriends and tastes and theres that nagging feeling were never going to figure it out.

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im told we do. i  have seen first hand (thank you dad, drew, mom and countless others) for showing me that life has a funny way of figuring itself out. apparently (im not there yet) we learn to relax and be comfortable enough in our own lives that the fear of being homeless, fear of failure and fear of never understanding anything goes away. look at my dad below...even with us youngsters to raise he looks so relaxed! and happy! what the hell dad, why cant i relax?!

the hard part for me now is wanting to talk to my dad about anything and everything and knowing i cant. i mean sure, i talk to him, but its obviously not the same as when he was alive. were about 2 weeks shy of it being 5 years since his passing and i have not yet gotten to a point where it makes sense. i think theres a part of me that will always be missing/empty. he was just so amazing and important enough that i intentionally leave that part bare because in essence who the fuck could fill it? is it weird that i feel like i could be so much better if my dad were alive? he was so good at building my confidence and making me believe in myself that it totally blows to not have my #1 cheerleader here to help calm my ever-loving crazy mind down.

guess thats why i feel so lucky to have such a great brother and mom (not to mention outside family and friends). you guys are fantastic and keep me going. and really, i mean after 24 years good ol' john kelley probably needed a break. nah, just kidding, crazily enough he loved it/me/my neuroses.

Tuesday, January 22, 2013

crush or no crush

while i was getting my hair done this weekend, jana (the most amazing hair stylist EVER) and i were chatting about our crushes when she totally asked me "are we too old to crush on guys"..."i mean, is it now called something else?"

my short answer is NO. heres why: while the term "crush" begins and ends with teens, tweens and boy crazy girls like me, i think it perfectly explains the feelings you have for someone when you are into them in a very innocent way. the time before you start to really like someone and get to know them on another level its a crush...its butterflies, its the admiring from afar, etc.

ive had crushes since i was about 3. and before it was other people it was my dad. (dont be weird, its obviously not gross). ive had crushes my whole life. my main issue is translating that into real love....but im working on it. hi, boys of NYC: please be gentleman. please be sweet. please refrain from asking me to sleep with you on our first or second date. please text back. please be genuine and sporty and funny. thank you, management.

im currently crushing. hard. this is exciting cause i havent really liked anyone for a while. in typical hilary fashion, ive just been focused on living my life (while obviously noticing cute boys everywhere) and just havent wanted to do anything about it. im happily domesticating myself and cooking a bunch, continuing to exercise a lot and making it a habit to treat my body well (hello sleep!).

hey blogosphere keep your fingers crossed this crush doesnt turn into a raging douchebag, its about time i met a guy and hung out with a guy that was more than decently cool. update to come :)

best weekend ever.

one of my ideas of "the best weekend ever" is a weekend spent with my bestest bud at home with mild winter temps. cant ask for much more than that when its the end of january in the northeast. (obvs those that know me know that itd really be the best if it was a crazy warm summer day, but its winter so mild is the best i can get)

this past weekend was amazing for all of the simple reasons. sus and i got to spend a few days going out to lunch, cooking dinners, hitting the gym, grabbing mani/pedis and coffee together and squeezing in a movie date.

being home this past weekend was super relaxing. i slept well, exercised a lot and ate great food. there were so many moments when i was laughing so hard it hurt. thats the sign of a truly great time. nothing really beats a slumber party for a few days with one of your favorite people.

i left lancaster a bit more relaxed and with a few additional inside jokes with the coolest woman i know.


Friday, January 18, 2013

its friday, i feel random

its been a long week. or at least its felt like one. im pretty psyched we have monday off...knowing we have a 4-day week next week makes me giggle a bit inside. because, per usual, im a bit tired from the week, ive got a few thoughts id like to share. enjoy :)

- if you dont drink coffee, how do you function? are you a vampire? are you real? for the same reason i dont fully trust people that dont like animals, i dont know that i fully trust people that dont drink caffeine.

- i dont care what you say, i like lance. no, i dont think hed be a good boyfriend or anything but hes a hell of a competitor and i admire that. oh, youre pissed he doped. im sorry, why do you give a fuck? did you give him money or something? if so, it went to livestrong so keep your panties on, hes fighting cancer you uptight asshole. oh, youre pissed he is like every other athlete that competes at his level? im sorry, youre naive. good luck going through life that way.

- post-marathon (and really, post-sickness) my love affair for the elliptical hasnt fully returned. ive been running more (woo! woo!). ive loosened up a bit on myself in regards to working out. dont get me wrong, i still hit it hard...daily or 2x daily if i can, but if i feel like cutting it short a few minutes in the AM or skipping a night workout i dont freak. what is that weird thing people speak of? oh yea, moderation :)

- in about 3 weeks the date will come where i honor my dad being gone for 5 years. can i just say its been the weirdest thing for me to come to terms with. i mean hes been gone for 5 years! just unacceptable :) all i can hope for is that he hears my prayers and is looking down on me smiling, proud of the woman i have become.

alright, i think thats enough for now. TGIF. no really, thank GOD! im heading home to lanc this weekend so heres to hopefully getting a lot of sleep, taking a lot of bodypump and eating great food. aaaand im super excited about getting some cuddle time in with my moms kitties.


my thoughts on lance

for those that havent been living under a rock, lance armstrong has admitted to doping. ive sharing my thoughts on the matter here for a few reasons:

- everyone thinks they should share their opinion on FB. sorry, kids, noone wants your opinion.
- if youre opinion of lance armstrong has come from the past week, youre an ignorant prick. hes been cycling for decades and if all you know of his story has come from E! news, or Oprah your opinion is invalid.

i have followed lance for years, probably since 1997. ive read all of his books, followed his races and sported a livestrong bracelet. he became a bit of an obsession of mine you might day. well, you can say that, my dad did :)

im even pretty sure you can 6-degrees us and find were somehow related. there arent millions of us "armstrongs"

id bet my life on the fact that 100% of successful athletes use some kind of performance enhancing substance. those that dont? you shouldnt care, cause youll never hear about them since they will never win or come close to it. every sport, every success athlete dopes. they just do.

lance armstrong is HUGELY successful and that will always lead to jealousy. the man is a marketing genius, worlds best athlete, and has done more for cancer research than anyone else will ever be able to match. ever since i started following him i loved that he was so competitive. ive been a competitive athlete my whole life...i think i came out of the womb wearing either a tennis skirt, soccer kleats or a gymnastic leotard. i know what it takes to win and i know the feeling you get when you compete. no doubt he seeemed like a dick of a guy when it came to game time: winning was his goal, and he was determined to do it. so pansies in the back of the pack...shut the fuck up and either try harder or bow down to lance.

if i had been competing against him, i would have hated him too. same reason people jab at lebron, kobe and federer. they win too much. um, news flash, its why they get paid. did you start cycling because of lance, start playing tennis because of agassi or roddick or start running because of ryan hall? then they did their job to inspire you. would i suggest you date any of these dudes? hell no. i assume, due to what they have to do to perform at that level, they can be selfish pricks.

i liken this to my love for chris brown. good performer? hell yes! good guy? i mean fuck no. so while i would never let anyone i know date chris brown, if you wanna follow him on twitter, check him out in concert or buy mags simply because hes on the cover then so be it.

these dudes are human. their PR machines do their best to hide this and gloss their lives so you see what they want you to see. noone promises that underneath all that gloss lies a good guy.

man, that feels good to get off my chest. in true hilary fashion, im not going back and rereading this to edit my thoughts. livestrong forever lance, im still with you!!

Wednesday, January 16, 2013

#teamnike #teamkelley

lets pretend for a second that my 7-mile run last night was easy. lets pretend it went smoothly.

ok, lets not pretend. it was fucking 30-something degrees (though if you had said it was 0 degrees i would have believed you!) since im still not fully clear from my franken-flu-bronchitis-sinusitis-death it felt harder than normal. the run last night was a scheduled 7 miles. mentally i wanted to push myself to complete the distance, while maintaining a relatively lax pace (9 min/mile in an ideal world). of course running with #teamnike means you dont slack off and we ran the 7 miles in under an hour.

id like to personally thank harlem hill for my massively sore quads today...that hill is no fucking joke. i think im still sore from running CP on saturday too...running the dirt paths was no joke either. WHOA!

each of the runs i have done in the new year was challenging for several reasons:
- not having run for 2 weeks then running distance is not easy. (i know i shouldnt just jump back into 10 mile runs, but shh! ive never been much of a training rule follower)
- im still a bit congested and ITS WINTER. winter running is notoriously hard

running on the best of days is a tough workout. any additional elements you add of course only make it harder. thats what makes it so damn awesome when you do it :)

special thanks to my friends at #teamnike. you guys keep me accountable and i love that about you. see you on our standing date tomorrow night :) xoxo

Monday, January 14, 2013


hi world! im alive! it was a bit touch and go for a few weeks there.
post maxim NYE i got hit with whatever #frankenflubronchitis was floating around!! then my body decided to add sinusitis to it and a fever so it was a bloody good time.

two great things that came from almost dying:
1. no interest in soda whatsoever
2. ive been eating amazing food, really making an effort

when i get sick, and in this case really sick, my body craves fresh fruits and veggies, warm soups and filling salads. it doesnt, however, crave soda, luna bars, endless pretzels or random snacks. im on a personal health mission and aim to eat really good a bit of a snacker by nature but im really amped about this. filling my bod with great stuff has been SO FUN!

flick, katie and i get together at least once a week (usually sunday, and sometimes with others) to cook dinner, catch up and honestly laugh our asses off. there is something about great friends (and in this case best friends) that just makes life better. and cooking together just makes everything in life feel like its fabulous. wine never hurts :)

great friends, great food, great laughs. looking to be the motto for 2013! xoxo