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Showing posts from May, 2009

wow. didnt see that coming

mom, gamma and i road-tripped it out to see the new hospice facility today. they were having an outdoor ceremony to honor those who have been lost this year, as well as let us all know that the bricks that have been bought within the year are now done, and ready. aunt martha, gamma jane, and aunt cori had one made, so we wanted to see it (pics to come later....)

we were told he was brick #243, so we walked over to it. as soon as i saw his name i lost it. honestly, it was a beautiful day, i was with family and we were all having a great day. i really didnt anticipate getting emotional like that. mom and i both broke down in tears.

something about seeing his name makes it so powerful and real. i managed to get myself into "hil-suck-it-up-and-be-strong" mode so that mom could be ok. why? i mean, really....why? why is he gone? none of it makes sense. but i do realize that as we have been grieving, we have done it really well. noone went off the rails...and i will say, in all hones…

dont know how they did it...

but they did. thanks mom and dad (and drew). my family has the amazing ability tomake me feel so good about myself. sure, they kicked my ass when i needed it...and made me run through a cramp even though it hurt. but at the end of the day, even if i felt ugly or stupid or bored or confused, they put things in perspective for me. when i get in funks, and feel empty that dad is gone (!&^@!%!%%!@!@!), i find that talking to these two people work wonders. i also enjoy reading proverbs, or cliches. these sayings serve to remind me of the simple thoughts my dad used to use with me. they remind me that sometimes just reading feel-good sayings are enough to bring a smile to my face. and if that doesnt work comedy central is great. or vodka. hahahahaha.....

for no particular reason i listed a few below. just cause. enjoy. oh, and if youre bored, let me know what sayings or things make you smile....

*success is not the key to happiness. happiness is the key to success. if you love what you ar…

la la land...

mom and i are flying to cali to surprise my grandfather for fathers day. should be fabulous!! we land at the airport at 5:30...he arrives at 7. so, we'll piddle around, and shock him! i cant wait!!!

while there, mom and i are planning on doing some hardcore playing. were talking partying in LA, drinks, dinners and dancing. and most certainly meeting up with lots of friends!!!! cant wait.

ok, im off for an interview at abercrombie. wish me luck :)

life is beautiful

i am updating my blog while rocking out to a mix of john mayer, eve 6 and guster. totally bringing me back to high school summers, and fun nights with my faves...a perfect setting to blog!

lets see here...i am busy whoring out my resume to e.v.e.r.y.o.n.e in new york. ive got a couple things im really hoping for, so if/when i hear anything i will share. (please, GOD, if youre reading this...!). this warm weather solidifies how much i think the city will be good for me. mom, gamma and i went out to lunch, got ice cream and went for a fun! days like that are so great. (except...the more i think about it, that pint of java ice cream and box of cookies i pounded was...well, absolutely necessary. and i stand by it. hahaha). i noticed today that there opening a new restaurant called "hot diggity dog"...god, how id love to take dad there. hot dog paradise.

a guy friend of mine asked me out to lunch last night (for today), but got wasted and called me at 3pm today apologizi…

on a mission

i started a bid to raise at least $1000 in dads honor for the san francisco half marathon on his birthday (july 26th) of this year. to date i have raised $225. i am asking for donations of $13.1 in honor of the race being 13.1 miles. hopefully you, or people you know, are able to help me out!!
(see payment information/directions below):
thanks, in advance!!! or

and if youre in the area, please please join us for the race!!

bridgette bardot circa 2009

well, here it is. my second photo spread with fine living lancaster magazine. it was a rock-n-roll shoot, where i was made to look like bridgette bardot. i think the picture is fun. hahaha...oh, dad would be so proud...

i am a committment-phobe.

there. i said it.

i dont like to commit myself to one thing...i dont like to feel boxed in.
be it with a job, boys, bars, or restaurants.

i like to always keep my eyes open. not so much of a "grass is greener"
thought, cause, well, im usually a pretty satisfied and happy person, but
just as an ambitious professional. i like to feel educated, ready for anything.

god damn. annoying though. so, thats why, boys, i tire out from you so easy.
i want the next one. and, why, even at current jobs, im always looking. i am
not a "ok, im settled" individual. apparently i like to keep myself stressed out and
confused. thats awesome. i will be going gray at age 28.

ps, id like to live my life a lot like bethenney from "real housewives of nyc"
know her, love her. i see a lot of me in her. (hopefully the really rich part). HA!

my kitties are gone.
jackie came and picked them up tonight. oh my god, i teared up after she left. those boys were mine for the year and a half. what the freak?! oh my god. i will never see them again. i am so confused and scared and sad about so many things in life. i feel like i have no direction, no clue, no idea what i am doing. no idea. no god damn fucking idea.

my main i stay in lanc, or do i go to new york city. i am very skilled in playing devils advocate. i can tell you why lancaster rocks and new york would suck. i could do the exact opposite. so, where does that leave me. i have no fucking idea. NO FUCKING IDEA. i want a roommate, but i also like my schedule. i like space to work out, sleep and watch tv. but i like being around people. no wonder they say women are complicated.

the biggest issue for me is that the "so, what do you want to do" question is wayyyy too limiting. i want to be involved in marketing, advertising, maybe some modeling, ETC. just …

george zink made him do it

so theres a track meet going on today.
as mom and i were talking to a friend of ours,
a runner ran to the grass and totally spewed
enough lunch that im pretty sure he threw up
food he ate 10 years ago.

george would be proud (right DREW!!!!!!)hahaha......

im so weird

ha, omg, i am such a strange bird. my dad was right. haha. its pretty typical for me to just think random thoughts (pretty much constantly) and the other night (amidst this insane process of finding a damn apartment and job in new york city) i thought how funny of a word "blogger" is. it sounds like a swear word the english would use! haha.


i had a blast in nyc last weekend. we really lucked out with was beyond hot, but i loved it. it was fun going to restaurants, the park, walking the brooklyn bridge, checking out union square and hoboken (only for a party) and different bars. and boozy brunch! what a trip!!!! i slept in ali's apt on an air matress. it was like an extended sleepover...haha, staying up until 3am chatting, scarfing cookies and peanut butter, changing clothes 67 times and sharing clothes and makeup. yep, pretty typical us. and only just the beginning. im heading to the city with mom (and ali and her mom) this coming saturday t…