the city that never sleeps

here i come NYC!
i am heading to nyc this weekend for a much needed getaway. there are some really fun plans in the works, so i cant wait to share pictures with everyone.

3 weeks and counting until we are no longer at aZura. i feel like i am at a place where i am ready to get my energy back and head out into the big, bad world. i cant imagine doing it any sooner than now, to be totally honest. im getting my strength back, and i cant wait to go and party with friends and get totally wasted, crash on couches, flirt with everyone, dance on tables and walk the city with amazing people. oh, and continue to train for the race in july, as well as life, try not to get toooooooo fat, and work hard at a new job. yep, its going to be a lot. its going to be crazy. but im pretty supported. its insane. im taking it a day at a time...starting with this weekend. im going to gauge just how much i fit in. fingers crossed!!!

oh and i went to the dermatologist today...lets hope i will finally rid myself of my horrible skin issue within the next 4-6 weeks. gooooooooood riddance!! (i blame a certain boy.....hehe.....)

ta ta! happy tuesday!!
cheeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeers to a beautiful week!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

hippety-hop

happy (belated) Good Friday and happy (early) Easter bloggies!!!


i hope everyone had a great week, and is planning on enjoying a candy-filled,
family-filled, egg hunt-filled easter!! i sure am, as mom, gamma and i are
loading up the car to head down to see drew, rachel and emmitt.

the weather was great yesterday, crap today, so hopefully tomorrow will
be nice again. i heard that its supposed to be, so lets hope so.

and, drew, hopefully you made reservations for somewhere. (haaaaa!!!!!
it was sooo great talking to you the other day, and laughing about such
funniness. i love you!)

i hope my family is enjoying being together in IL. aunt m, i hope your flight
was good, and the weather holds up for you guys!

yesterday we took a look at the florida pics. they were great!! it was such
fun seeing everyone celebrate babu's 80th(!?!??!)...the weather and the beach
and the houses...everything looked beautiful. and my moms fish was the biggest!!!
GO MOM!!! i am soo soo soo proud of you!

HI NICOLE!!!!

first of all, we rock. we chicks at aZura rock. today was another example of that.
and, you and i are so much alike its hilarious.

had to say hi to you!!!!!! HIIIIIIIIIIIIIII! cant wait to see the ad tomorrow
printed on nice, glossy paper.

hi dad!

i totally got visited by dad. for a few days, out of the blue, my windshield wipers were out of whack. i am talking totally freaking out. the front would either be on, or the back ones. i COULD NOT turn them off. drew and rachel can attest, it was the fucking weirdest and funniest thing!! just the other day, it stopped. they are now working perfectly fine. haha, i know i had been talking to dad so much recently and i know it was him. i know it!!

also, the other morning a bright yellow bird flew into moms window and landed on her balcony. it hopped around, looked inside, and eventually flew away. it was dad again!! it just has to be. birds, especially not bright happy birds, are around yet. its tooo early in the season.

thanks dad. we needed a visit. it felt like it had been toooo long. i really love and miss you. XOXO

dun dun dun...

im ususally pretty secretive when it comes to myself. i do all sorts of things that i try to keep quiet for a variety of reasons. maybe because i like outcomes and results and want to keep it quiet just how hard i work at things. regardless, i thought id share the following:

i sent a publisher some things yesterday. i sent a proposal (oh yea, all official!!), and the title page, along with a few "chapters." im not expecting to move mountains....oh wait, yes i am. i am expecting her to love it like i do. why else would i send it?! i am expecting her to want to publish it (with some edits, obviously!). my expectations are high, because, well, im damn proud of my "book" and am not afraid to hear "NO" if she indeed says it. i wrote it for me, and if others like it, thats all bonus.

she should get it thursday, so ill be sure to forward on any information i get from her.

its good enough

my life, that is. i feel like so often i am trying to move on to the next thing, because anything other than what i am currently doing is "cooler" or something. but, you know what, ive decided my life is good enough for me right now. i am working with my mom which i am obsessed with, i get to hang with friends and hang with my mom, do fashion shoots and magazine ads, write my book and try out a shot with a modeling agency. i am working my ass off and loving it. i am not stuck in an office all day, but i pay all my bills and am making my way in the world. sometimes my life is crazy chaotic, sometimes pretty low key and lazy. but its all mine. i earned it, and i am continuing to try my best at lots of different things.

my life is mine. its definitely cool enough for me, wild enough for me, and interesting enough for me. and, really, who cares if the rest of the world doesnt think its any of those things. right now, at this moment, i am content with things. yea, eventually ill get a better paying job (or, maybe, azura will do so well, we will get raises), and maybe earn enough money to buy some really great things (yes, helllllllo land rover), but right now things are evening out. i am getting through some pretty tough shit, and i am proud of myself. my mom and i are fucking working it...simple as that. without her by my side, i dont know that id be the same, at least not yet.

i afford myself a pretty kick ass apartment, summer is upon us (or at least spring!!) and i get to see my friends and brother when i want to, go to KOP with my mom, and visit all my dads stomping grounds, hospice, his "site" and all things familiar. its good for me right now. so, i think its time i took the pressure off myself to do more, be more, go somewhere else, and save the world. im enough, this is enough (for now). i have no idea what the future holds, but the present is a fun place to be!

wow

bronchitis kicked my ass this week. that, paired with seemingly endless 10-hour days, and i was just too damn tired to blog. and quite frankly, i dont think i had the strength. seriously.

but ill be back. im getting better.

sorry for the lag! ill be back!