Skip to main content

i almost cheated.

i debated starting a new blog. i was looking to start fresh and thought i wanted a clean blog to do it with, but then i thought why? my life is messy and it has a past so if people read back on the past few years thats ok.

so im back from christmas break. it was lovely to be home :) while i cant live there quite yet, there is something so safe and happy about being home. i guess thats why its home :)

this year helping out with christmas dinner at hospice was super difficult. the moment we arrived i had a raging headache. i felt heavy and oddly sad. while food was heating up in the ovens i ventured down the hall to my dads room. i stood by the door to look in (i didnt want to go in since someone was in there) and just stood still. memories of those 7 days came flashing back to me. i stood there outside the very room where i lost my dad. i thought i had gotten to a place where i could be ok with all those memories, but i dont think that will ever be true. after a few minutes i walked back toward the kitchen as mom was walking toward me. i broke down as she hugged me so tight.

"mom, i need a minute. i didnt know this was going to happen"
"hil, take all the time. i am so proud of you"

even writing this is tough. i cant imagine fighting this battle with anyone other than my mom. she is so supportive of those mini breakdowns and i am so thankful for her. i helped a bit longer and ran home. my head was so heavy and hurt from holding back so much emotion that i knew a run was the only thing  that could help me. i cranked up my headphones to a pretty deafening level and ran home. it wasnt super long, about 30-40 minutes or so, but man, it felt good.

ok, on to happier things :)...



say hi to buddy!!

we are dog sitting this week. pramila's cousin couldnt take the dog to chicago so he's with us. his name is buddy and he is some sort of mixed breed...mom, you can probably help me with this. its SO fun having a little guy here to take care of. it wouldnt be the kind id choose for myself, but thats ok. i will admit the 10 degree weather we had the other day did not make for a happy hilary walking him but thats ok. something about me learning to dress appropriately for winter will help im sure :)

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

march madness

i have come to find the madness of life happens far beyond march. that said, when we really think about it, lifes madness is a gift, right? i mean that in a "take the good with the bad" kind of way, not so much that i love the madness.

i live in madness. all the time. i love so many things about NYC - but sometimes, those same things are the things that sending me screaming into my pillow or heading out of town at a moments notice.

take this past weekend. i had had enough of NYC - sleepless nights, work stress and a nagging running injury. it was one of my best childhood friends birthdays, so i hopped on a train for a 3.5 hour ride to newport for an incredible night filled with endless prosecco and bread, birthday cake and wonderful memories and laughs, i returned to NYC 24 hours later (after a 5 hour wi-fi less ride) a better person. sure, the ride back was brutal - but the sore abs and messy hair reminded me that it was exactly what life is about.

madness, baby. may it las…

break a sweat - even when youd rather do ANYTHING but.

there is only one way to begin the difficult journey of the holiday sugar detox: break a sweat. 

miraculously i didnt miss a day over the holidays to break a sweat -- but that really just means i got up extra early or ran when people were napping (i.e. full and feeling gross) so not all of my holiday miles or squats were pretty. or felt particular good.

BUT, i laced up and got out there -- or followed along to a dailyburn workout. i kept telling myself i could slow down or take it easier, but shit, im doing a workout.

so basically, what they say is true. no matter how slow you go, youre still lapping everyone on the couch. go get in a good sweat, then reward yourself with some couch time :)