hi, im hilary

figured i needed to re-intro myself as its been a hell of a long time since i blogged. whoa.
ive been living in my apt in brooklyn for just over 8 months. holy hell did that go by fast.

lets catch up shall we? father's day was yesterday...the actual day was a lot less painful than all the buildup of consumerism all over the place. cards and deals and commercials everywhere advertising father's day. the actual day was spent with best friends, eating all over nyc. pretty perfect. it had been a pretty tough 2 weeks or so...i found myself feeling pretty vulnerable. despite having gotten so strong, there are times my head just wants to cry. i was rewriting a few pages of my book (that i will publish one day, you watch!) and did tear up a bit. when i get in the zone of writing about those past 3 years, my thoughts become so vivid. the sights, the smells, dad's face. it is all so clear.

its summer here in the city. WOO! not having AC sucks...and makes for some awfully hot nights, but im so happy. im happy to be slumming it in nyc, im happy to not be getting nearly enough sleep, im happy to eat chocolate and candy at 3am with my best friends, im happy to be going on all sorts of crazy, fun, good and bad dates with all sorts of boys, go to fun restaurants, bars, walk across bridges and meet famous faces. nyc is right where i belong.

i am moving in about 3.5 months. im moving in with one of my best friends, a coworker and a random (who is super awesome). we will be living in hells kitchen (which is ironic, cause when i came to look at places before i went to LA, it was my fave area). seems it was meant to be :)

the best part of life is that its clean and easy one minute and messy and sad the next. some days i wake up feeling pretty put together and strong. others, just sorta cloudy and unsure about why i dont have dad around. i swear i could write a 100000000000000000 page book on my thoughts and it still wouldnt cover everything.

every day there are questions i dont understand, things that arent fair and people that piss me off on the subway. sometimes i get so hot in my apt i cant sleep very well and have moments that i dont really feel like commuting to work. you know what? it all makes me laugh and smile. im happy to have moments like all those that provide fodder for best friend drinks out, dinner or sleepovers. life is soo fun and i like every bit of it. all the good, all the bad. all of it. i miss my dad the most out of everything, but i hope hes watching down having a bit of a laugh at his daughter. i hope to provide him comedic fodder for the rest of my life.

i will be back with more updates. but know that life is good. even when its bad :)

Comments

Anonymous said…
Hi Hilary, nice to meet you :) Glad you are back online and blogging, have missed being able to read the insides of your head! I can't imagine how hot it is up there! But am so excited for you to move!! Stay cool ;) love you!-rach

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