couldnt have said it better myself

since i started my blog, i have come across a ton that i love and regularly follow. one of my favorites, runnerskitchen.com, posted this the other day:

"I don’t discuss it much on the blog, but the last 6 months have been rough for me. Some days all I want to do is come home, have a good cry, and watch a Hannah Montana movie. Sometimes that makes me feel better, but other times I know that running is the answer. I was in quite the funk yesterday afternoon, but I still followed through with my plan to do a speed workout on the treadmill.  And I’m so glad I did. For 60 minutes, I wasn’t sad or upset – I was completely focused on the numbers: the length of my intervals, the pace I needed to run, and the miles piling it up. For the past 10 years, running has helped me feel accomplished when nothing else seemed to be going right. It’s given me an outlet for stress and time to think and reflect. Sometimes I really do believe that sweat and tears are the cure for everything".

OMG! this is exactly how i feel. its like i wrote this post (...minus the hanna montana movie...haha!). its true, though. these last 6 months have been really heavy, crazy, stressful, sad, yet fabulous all at once. i moved 3000 miles away from home...with just my one suitcase and no plan. i got myself a job and an apartment. i support myself with a very measly income. i miss my dad. i think its ever daughters right to need her dad for advice, reason and a little indulgence. sometimes i just want him to call and tell me he loves me. tell me it will all be ok. tell me that i am worth it, and that i am good enough. i want to tell him the same. i want to meet up and go running with him. i want to go see a movie with him, and stay up late eating ice cream. i want him to tell me im nuts when i discuss boys. more than anything, i want to tell him how much i love him, and i want to hear how much he loves me. because at the end of the day, he really was proud of me. and i dont think i can ever be as good, strong or confident as i was with him here. i dont feel as though i am a complete person without my dad. its hard to fight the thinking that there isnt a point to any of it (not in a suicidal way...i mean, im crazy, but lets keep it real here...)....haha. i worry that i wont find my "john kelley". i worry that noone will want me. i feel that noone will make me feel the same way my dad did. i will be honest, its really hard being 26 years old and trying to be super strong. its exhausting. as annoying as it sounds, sometimes i really just need my dad to tell me that i am enough. mistakes and all. god dammit. my solution is for my momma to move out here and work (in some capacity) with her. all in all, i am definitely going through a period right now of the blahs...and if my shout out to one of my fave blogs is any indication, im not the only one.

hi JK! i miss you daddio :)

10 ways to fix a bad day fast...

its wednesday...that ill fated hump day, so i figured it was a fun time to publish this list. hopefully everyone is having a great day, and even better week, but here are some tips in case thats not true.

*rub your own feet. who needs a whipped boyfriend?

*kiss someone. bonus points if theyer over 83 or under threee

*put on your highest heels - or take those suckers off!
*go into closet. shut door. scream. feel a little silly for screaming in closet. carry on.

*throw caution to the wind and actually smile at a stranger.

*have an orgasm. maybe two.

*catnap, preferably with a cat (or a dog).

*just give up and put your hair in a ponytail.

* stop waiting for _______ to make you happy. youre in charge!

*get off that weird fad diet immediately. its wrecking your day...and metabolism.

this is one bitch i could get behind...

i hope you already know her...and love her, but if not, here is an intro. she is a loud-mouthed, brass tv host who tells it like it is. who is she? wendy williams. she is a bitch, and owns it. she is strong, brash, crass and funny. i recently came across a fun little article of hers in glamour magazine where she details her dos and donts (of pretty much life in general). so here goes:

DO take the time to learn how to hammer a nail and replace a flat. and...

DONT call your ex or your daddy if you dont know how. put on your bug-girl panties and figure it out. or go to ask.com...i do!

DO become an expert at the art of the seven-minute conversation. theyre the reason talk shows are so entertaining - and you may learn some jewels.

DONT share your complete financial pitcure with your man. it is, after all, your money, and if hes good to you, youll share...maybe.

DO believe in the sisterhood, and know that not all women want yout style, your job, your life or your lover.

DONT trust any one person with all your secrets. learn to become your own best friend.

and there you have it. some lifestyle tips from one badass woman. i like them. though i will be honest...as someone who has had a flat tire before...i fully support AAA and do not feel the need to pretend like i can do a better job than these guys. theres a reason we are a part of this incredible, incredible, incredible program. and i make no apologies for it.

any lifestyle tips you particular like? would you add to this list? i have sooo many...so many fun tidbits you pick up along the way.

3 weeks

AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
wooooooooooooooooooooooooo woooooooooooooooooooooooo wooooooooooooo!

err, excuse me, i think i lost it there for a second.
a minor meltdown. im back now. thank you for sticking around.

basically, my mom will be here in 3 weeks. a full weekend just with momma!
and were going surfing. !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ok, i think you get it...this post is not going to be subdued. i cant help it.
i am soooo excited. i havent seen my mom since christmas, and its killing me.
and i finally get a day off. phew. i just cant wait to have a sleepover with momma!!
happpppy friday!

edited to add:

this day is outta control. thank god its friday.

today is friday

thank god. sometimes weeks are just long, sometimes they are stressful, sometimes they are annoying and relentless and boring. sometimes all of the above. and sometimes its just fun to look forward to friday cause you get to do things other than work at the office. even if thats getting gas in your car, groceries or watching tv. if you find yourself a little bit frazzled this week, please enjoy the picture below. it brought a smile to my face this morning, and will, no doubt, do the same for you.

GOD, that is just the cutest thing!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

fact of the day

i would just like to point out that california is scheduled to get snow this weekend. and be 35 degrees. yea.

its cool, if i werent me id want to steal my identity too.

"hello, this is wells fargo. we have been deemed recent activity on y our account to be fraudelent. if you could please call us back, that would be great"

whaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaat?!?!?!? yea, i called back immediately. (i dont pick up my phone at work unless its uber important...and yes, calls from mom are uber important, so this call went unanswered. at first. i saw i got a voicemail...hmm, weird number and a message...so i listened. and heard that my account looked fishy). now, if theres one thing about me, its this: i am not that super annoying person who looks at every penny of her statement versus what she records. yes, after having worked at a bank, i will tell you, if this is you, its really annoying. remain extremely on top of what you spend/make. just not to a crazy, obsessive, to-the-penny OCD level.

before all the weird charges even got to my account, they jumped on it. i am super impressed with wells fargo, and will toast with a celebratory glass of wine when my money is returned. long story short, some doofus spent over $500 on yahoo and other small stores. i am able to not get super stressed about it as i know that is how best to handle it, and (hopefully soon), my money will be returned and i will get a new card. while i find it really irritating to have to use checks right now (i wish you all could have seen me writing a check out at the grocery store the other morning. i felt like such a mom!)...thats a small price to pay.

but, the bigger picture issue is this. why do people do this shit?! whats mine is NOT yours, unless i love you. and this little bugger does not fit that criteria. dude, get a job. i have one. that money you are taking...i worked for it. you need to do the same. if you can be a prick enough to get someones ID, you can cook burgers...and fries. apply. or, at least, if you take my identity, buy something cool. haha, just kidding. no, really...KIDDING. leave me alone.

anyway, just another example of crazy shit my friends feel always seems to happen to me. go figure.

it got me thinking though...if you are smart enough to get someones ID, why not try and track down a dude with a lot of money?! they may not notice as much as someone like me, who, doesnt have millions. just sayin...

the company you keep says a lot about you...

i LOVE my friends. this past weekend was yet another ridiculous example of why i love my crew. we met up at craigs around 9. not going to lie, i approached the night as though i was going to head home around midnight...get a good sleep and wake up bright-eyed on sunday. haha. ohh sometimes i really can be naiive, huh?!

anyway, got to craigs, we tackled beer. we played violent video games (killing each other in heinous ways), and got a little to nuts with board games. this crew is not afraid to make penis jokes, sex, gross situations, violence or teenage humor a part of the night. (part of what is so god damn funny and made my stomach hurt so bad!). needless to say we got pretty drunk and didnt make it "out out"...but we all had the funniest, most ridiculous time trying to one-up each other at various games. round 2 will come soon. i havent laughed so hard in the longest time. im talking tears-down-your-face laughing. i made it home after 3. at least i think.

AND ITS OFFICIAL! mom is coming march 25. oooo ooooo weee oooooo. it will have been 3 months since i have seen her. EW. and had a day for mommy/daughter stuff. i never get those. holy shit, i cant wait. I CAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAANT WAIT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! ok, ill keep it in control for now.

i cant wait for summer. i hope its pretty warm when mom comes out here...i know we both want sun. im done with cold and rain. blah blah :) i want some 'kini time!!!

alright folks, i got myself all riled up now...back to work.

over to the dark side...

well, ive really been brunette for a while now. 2008, i believe is when i started. but i went SUPER dark on saturday. were talking the addition of subtle hints of purple. i blame my hair restlessness on not really knowing where i stand in life. i was having life pangs to go darker. but now i wonder if i like me better with dirty blond/brown hair that looks like it got hit by the sun. the thing is, as ive gotten older, my features (see: eye brows) have really gotten dark. however, i look back fondly at pictures when i was a kid and i was pretty cute. there was a phase there where i really was pretty cute. not sure what happened. wish i could go back there...haha oh man.

happy tuesday all :)

did you feel the love?

ahh yes, valentines day. the day where we feel pressure to wow the pants off those we love. its the greatest day for 10 year olds...you spend the day in school decorating boxes and giving candy to the boys and girls you secretly crush on every day. you give out candy hearts that say exactly what you want to convey. "i heart you" becomes okay to say to the silly little boy you sit across from without feeling shy or vulnerable. i mean, its valentines day, its ok to flirt!

nowadays people have taken the simplicity out of it. you MUST make reservations at the trendiest restaurant, receive the biggest bouquet of flowers, get chocolate, get breakfast in bed, get a diamond, go on vacation, get proposed to, go to the moon and get a puppy. if he doesnt do these things, he doesnt love you right?! no wonder people hate valentines day. its really just a day meant to remind us all to stop for a second and make sure those we love know it. this should be enjoyable.

there is nothing better than getting a well-written, loved up note from family or friends. my dad always did it  best. said everything he wanted to say, and you could always keep it to read later.

this year was hard. being away from my mom. being without my dad. i had a heavy feeling in my heart. i got a knock on my door late afternoon and was handed a beautiful bouqet of assorted flowers. the note read something like this, "just wanted to sweeten your day. i thought about sending snow, but thought this was more appropriate". it was from one of my fondest friends...and earliest loves, the dear richard robinson.

no idea how or why he sent them. he got my address from my mom. quite frankly i was humbled. i mean that really is one of the most thoughtful gestures. what a guy!!! thanks again rr :)

hopefully you all had a fantastic love day. i want you to all know i was thinking about you. i am a very lucky girl to have so many people that i love so dearly, and that love me back.

xoxo

more of the good stuff...

i had more "hey, its ok!" jonesing in my arsenal, so here goes:

...to successfully match your underwear about, oh, once a month. at most.

...if you dont own a cook book by nigella, jamie, gordon or delia.

...to buy a heavy-duty sunday paper but only read the magazine.

...if your winter wardrobe is pretty much your summer wardrobe, plus a few cardigans.

...if you and your man dont have pet names - or a song.

...if you put far more effort into making a gym playlist than youll ever put into a workout.

...to have a selection of vitamins on your desk that havent been touched since september.

...if that romantic bath for two only lasted an uncomfortable two minutes.


there you have it. happy thursday. tgit!

here is your daily dose of "hey, its ok!"

this is a great wednesday post. no intense thinking or emotions. just a funny fluff post. enjoy :)

hey, its ok!...

...to halfway contemplate buying yourself a pair of footy pajamas.

...and to sit out the harem pants trend. one day it will die, and until then, sienna miller is welcome to them.

...if you dont want the life story of every item on the menu - where it was grown, what it had to eat, etc. just the specials, please.

...to watch to gabba gabba for stress relief.

...to refuse to let your 16-year old cousin drive you.

...to do a little internet cheating - er, research - before book club.

...if taylor swifts songs of teenage angst speak directly to your adult life. sigh.