hi there bloggie!

where did september go?! haha, i dont think i blogged in that entire month. good god! i have been doing so many things in so many places, i just needed a break i guess, sometimes in order to live life the way you want to, or should, you cant help but not have time to write it all down. this post itself has taken me 5 days...ive written a little, and stopped to take care of other things.

i want to wrap up this post and do another one, so here is a pic of my apt. shes pretty small, but perfect for my first new york apartment. apt hunting here is one thing that will never escape my mind. one of my bfs summed it up best, "usually after we experience immense pain, enough time can erase it. take childbirth. its crazy, but people forget and have another. the pain and misery of apartment hunting lasts forever" haha. i thought it was perfectly fitting, and funny.

please note that there are tons to come (mom is visiting this weekend, and we will share tons!), but i want you all to see my new home, as you were so amazing through my move.

hkpa blog 2.0

as you may notice, i changed my lil bloggie a bit. as i find myself amidst a move of 3000 miles, i figure my blog should change right along with me.

im heading to the city tomorrow for a few days of what i refer to as "spending the day getting lost". its how i got to know LA, and its how i anticipate getting to know NYC. its the best way for me to learn a big city. ill head back to lanc on friday to spend labor day weekend here, and head back to new york to continue apt hunting next week (noone was available to show us apts this week as its a holiday).

im off to get my car.

hello lanc!

i am back in the land of the amish! i landed friday morning after a red eye home and have been exhausted ever since (doesnt help when you party until 4am with friends, i know...) but all worth it! i have some hilarious stories i will be sure to share...stay tuned!

since i landed, i have had the most overwhelming emotions. i have felt ready to cry, and even want to leave. it wasnt until last night when all my best friends got together to party that i felt safe. my life is in a bit of a limbo right now. im living my life and believe 100% in myself, and just know that i am going to figure it out, but moving across the country definitely does not come without its issues. i cant help but feel in my moms way, and desperately want an apt of my own. ill elaborate, but we are jetting to a movie

i will do some serious posting later with necessary updates and details, but until then, heres a sneak peak at flicks engagement party...we took tons of pics!

saturday the 14th

that just doesnt have quite the same ring as friday the 13th, eh? oh well, itll have to do.

so here i am on a saturday morning after a really, really late night out, drinking a latte and eating popchips. why is it that i cant sleep worth shit on days that i can (it is saturday, afterall), but am desperate for sleep during the week, when i have to get up. grr. just one of the many ironies of life i suppose.

12 days until moving day. its going to suck going a few days without cable or internet, but hey, a girl can survive right?! im going out for a celebratory dinner tonight with the armies. so excited.
(so i moved out here a year ago...and was in such better shape. 15 pounds lighter, kinda strict, etc. life just got in my way...no apologies. except, my clothes dont fit. haha.)

id like to think dad is up there smiling down on me. if he is proud, nothing else matters. id like to think i am getting to a point where i believe someone will love me for me. i tend to "run" so-to-speak when things get too serious. i know this. i know i dont really let dudes fully into my life. i am trying to change this. i am at a point where i am ready to love someone. have someone just love me. not kinda, not a little...but really love me. granted, i dont know if id know a real, healthy, normal relationship if it smacked me in the face (thank you A), but ill get there. i know how smart, funny, etc. i am. i know how amazing of an athlete i can be. i know the amount of food this chick can shovel in. i make no apologies for me. i will never be 90 pounds. i will never turn down fresh made cookies, or after dinner drinks. i will always be a runner. i may not run a 6-minute mile, but that doesnt mean im no good.

i guess, the thinking is..if im not the best, why try? i will never the the fastest, skinniest, tannest, richest, etc. so what?! there is always someone else. im finally at a place where thats ok. I AM ME. hilary armstrong kelley is a kick ass chick that can get pedis with the girls and beers with the boys. my guy friends want me on their sports teams, and the girls want me in their circles. thats enough for me.

i have an appetite for life. going through grief after my dad, i shut that down. i craved order. strict schedules. i didnt want to do anything that i couldnt control. i felt as though my life was already spinning out of control. i have now come to find that i am ready to welcome the world back to me. i am ready to take weekend trips to places, get drunk with buds, spend the night in strange places. all of it. not that i hadnt been doing that, i just want to do more of it. one of my top three weekends this past year was when my three best friends came to LA. i havent packed so much fun, food, drinks and insanity into three days in a really long time. i loved EVERY MINUTE. did we worry about waking up and running? NO. did we binge on ice cream? YES. look, im not saying thats the key. i am not lazy, and have no interest in getting fat. but, to quote the movie eat, pray, love, "im just done with the guilt". so what if i miss a run. so what if i am not 90 pounds. life is too short.

i am a corporate woman. i have paved a resume full of amazing experience. i have amazing friends. i have met amazing people. me. just me. i have. i have lived in amazing cities. i have worked hard to get good things for myself. me. i have. at 26 i cant be too hard on myself. i have done a lot, seen a lot, tried a lot, dated a lot, kissed a lot, tasted a lot, experienced a lot.

not to get all melo-dramatic (spelling??!), but i disagree that the grieving gets easier. if anything, i find it gets harder. you keep living your life, wishing the person you lost could just be there with you. you can no longer share anything with them. i talk to dad before i go to bed, but lets face it, hes not here. talking to his spirit is amazingly fulfilling, but id like him here ;). however, that kind of thinking will not get me anywhere. this next step in my life, next chapter if-you-will, will be incredible. dad will be in my head and heart the whole way, as always. i am a strong, independent chick. new york: here i come.

thank you LA. you have given me what i came here for. but, i am ready to leave. you were a fling. now i need the real thing. spoken like a true boy crazy girl....haha.

more to come. xoxo

hungry? yea me too...i think ill take a bite of the "big apple"

countdown: 18 days until ill be on a red eye en route to fabulosity on the east coast.

updates to come later. but im getting super ansy.

today is a very special day.

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DAD!!

my dad is 57 today. i think one of the entertaining things about life is how perception changes. take age, for example. when you are 7 or so, your babysitter seems so old! at 16, or 18 (of if you were me, 14) you were still a baby yourself. just for the record, i cant believe so many families let me babysit their kids at such a young age. haha. oh, memories.

then, you turn 16. you think youre so mature, so cool. so ready for cell phones, dates, the mall, cars. you think youre parents are lame. you know it all. anything you do is cool. you need all the coolest clothes. (this being abercrombie and gap). you want to drive to concerts with your buds, drink, smoke maybe, etc. basically, just drive the world crazy.

being a college freshmen sounds so young. turning 21 seems crazy mature. 25 even more so. at 26, i feel good about where i am, but it sounds "old". i look at my brother, who, at 30, seems super young. i mean that in the sense that 30 seems younger than 26. doesnt make sense, just my perspective. from there it gets fuzzy. i look at pictures of my family and all my aunts and dad especially redefine age. my parents look way younger than their 50s, aunts and uncles too.

age is just a number. it doesnt make you smarter, funnier, skinnier, wiser or more understanding by default. you have to work at those things. you have the opportunity to always work on yourself and these things. i love that.

at 57, my dad has more spunk, ambition, selflessness, wisdom, jokes, personality and drive then people half his age. he was just that way. he isnt physically here anymore, but i know he is up there looking down and he is all those things.

ok, now that i have done some reflecting, its time to get to the real reason for this post. HAPPY BIRTHDAY DADDIO. i love you so much and wish you were here. you are the most amazing man, and i am forever grateful for you. im one lucky daughter...you are one hell of a dad. i love you!!!!!!!

celebrity running

check out this link to find out what kind of celebrity runner you are.

i am...

hilary's Result: Oprah Winfrey on quiz: What type of celebrity runner are you? We all have to credit Oprah for making the marathon mainstream.  In 1994, she said she would finish a marathon before she turned 40.  She finished the Marine Corps marathon in 4:29:20. Quiz Maker Take this quiz & get your result

What type of celebrity runner are you? » fun quizzes

haha. this quiz was ridiculous. absolutely ridiculous. i run for a lot of reasons and have my habits. this quiz does not reflect any of that. sheer entertainment though. kudos to the crazy that thought of these questions.

just a few things on my mind

1. i dont get why its called twitter. what the hell is "twitter". im not judging the fact that people do it, but where the hell did the word come from. i cant be the only one who thinks this...

2. family and friends really are all that matter. a fun job, a cool apt and tons of money are all extras.

3. if you cant tone it, tan it! :)

4. dear chelsea handler: you used to be funny. i liked you. i watched your show. what the hell has happened. i find your show rather boring these days, or at least the one time i have seen it within the last few weeks. 

5. i dont find twilight intriguing or any other vampire show on tv. just dont.

6. yes i am still boy crazy. i hope i never lose that. i am able to balance it with real relationships, but silly little crushes are super fun.

7. monogamy is possible, if you want it to be. (i hope by saying this its true) haha.

8. i have a lot of friends that are on eharmony. some are dating or in relationships. kinda makes me weary of #7. haha.

9. i think i fell in love twice yesterday. both times in my apt elevator. (ok, not really love. but the boys were cute. cute!!)

10. i dont care what brad and angelina are up to. they wanna adpot 67 more kids...who cares. mel gibson? jesus. tiger woods? gross. this list could go on forever...

i will continue to post lists like this because a) its totally fun and entertaining, and b) i have lots of opinions! yay. 

what a year

this past year has kinda come full circle. i flew to california with a one way ticket, and ill be flying to pennsylvania with the same. as much as i love warm weather (and hate you snow!) i am really psyched to head back east. my childhood and life are back there. i think i can suck it up and put on a coat. haha.

more updates to come...

a little glamour entertainment

glamour mag has supplied me with a lil reading entertainment many times over the years. here for your enjoyment, are their top ten apps they wish were made: (feel free to share your ideas for apps. i know i have tons!)

iHouseboy: he scrubs the tub and muddles a mean mojito

make these shoes comfy: wave phone and strut

no way youll be at work today: creates and sends genius excuses

gaga-fy: pass it over any outfit and fabulize (that one seems a bit scary to me. i dont want to look anything like her. no offense to her, it just would not work. haha)

bad-date exit strategy: calls you mid-salad, just in case!

red alert: provides a one-hour warning that your period is on its way (how cool would that be. the word cool being used in context here. obviously your period is never cool, but this warning is fabulous!)

insta-puppy: gives you an adorable temporary pooch anytime a cute guy is within sight

the decode-me: translates the actual hidden agendas of passive-aggressive people

eyes in the back of your head: tells you how your butt looks in that

zero-humidity hair: works even in a monsoon of epic proportions

fun, huh! it would be so fun to have a job where it was up to you to create new apps. i can think of zillions that would be so fun, creative, cool, etc.

its official!

im engaged! haha just kidding. that will be a fun announcement though, huh?!

haha ok, but really, i have a move date. i will be leaving LA and returning to my roots august 26th. just in time for one of the best parties of the summer: alis engagement party!

i cant believe this year has come full circle. although drew and i will not be ending the year by running the san fran half marathon this year, we are planning to run one in north carolina in november. (and if you can believe it, there is a half marathon in lancaster called the "amish country half" that i kinda want to check out. not sure of the crowd on that one....haha, ill stop my judging here. :)

anyway, the LA to NYC is on. officially 37 days and counting......

its dads birthday in one week. thats hard. i really find it so strange that he is no longer here. it is definitely something that i am always going to struggle with. death is something that is so beyond my thinking. i remember dad always struggling with how he felt about religion seeing as there is no way to prove there is a god, heaven, hell, etc. its all belief. im a lot like that. the world tells me he is dead, but as my dad, he is always here. i refuse to ever say out loud the word "dead". i dont like it. its too hard. i look at pictures, i talk about him out loud, i remember my childhood...he was always there. he helped get me through puberty, boys, and college. he helped me survive moving to arizona, passing my drivers test, getting my period and failing my first and only class. he helped me realize my potential, helped me move to my first big city for my first big job out of school and even some funny dates. he and mom were both instrumental in me becoming me. i know that never goes away and i am finally realizing that my friends and family want to help me continue to grow and live life. i dont need to run away anymore. i dont need to prove that i can do it on my own. (fleeing to LA and finding a job, apt, and life on my own was something that i needed to do for me). i feel like i was having delayed onset grief. my way of dealing was to say "fuck you" to the world. i now understand myself better, and finally get what ali has been telling me..."hil, when you struggle, i struggle. when im sad, youre sad. as best friends we all go through things together. youre supposed to share all that with me...let me share the burden". for so long i felt like i had to do it all alone, as though i had something to prove. i dont. the funny thing is, my family and friends love me as is. (i know, theyre crazy!) haha.

its funny....growing up, i mean. you learn all these things, you struggle, you succeed, you make money and lose it. you laugh, you cry and get pissed. its all worth it. all of it.

thank you to those that have continued to be my rocks. i have had a very odd, fulfilling, crazy, annoying, hilarious, fun, few years. its knowing that i have all of you that has made it possible. (especially you mom)

big day

gamma had surgery today. been a long day of updates and scary texts. she is officially done with the op and mom, uncle andy and uncle dwight are waiting to see her. cant wait to get the call that she is fabulous (ill prob be back east by then, as recovery is estimated at 4-6 weeks).

on another note, the moving guy came to my apt today to take note of everything i am packing. after he left, i went and got some boxes so that i can start packing my stuff (my mom said i could just leave it for the movers, but i asked him today and he told me that fore every box they pack its $58). um, no thanks. i can pack my own stuff. and really, id rather do that.

more updates later! love you
xoxo

you know youre growing up when...

your friends start to get engaged. what the hell. when did this happen?! i guess despite all the promises to never grow up that my grandmother always used to make me promise just cant happen. the ultimate is going to be when i finally meet a guy that i love for more than 5 minutes and get engaged then we will know the world really has lost its shit.

ive got one of my best friends engagement parties in about 6 weeks. cant wait. im trying to figure out the most creative, funny, yet amazingly perfect gift. i mean this is a girl i have known since i was like 3. maybe 5. and i cant pretend that i am not super excited to meet her fiances friends...well, ive met most, but his new friends. from law school. ali thinks ill find HIM. considering the last guy i really liked (no, aussie stud doesnt count. nor does the adorbs dude i met out at a dance club. both lovely, both fun. neither are long terms if you know what i mean) sucked ass, things are looking up. i have crushes every 5 minutes...just yesterday i passed a stud riding his bike. i thought about yelling at him for his number...but that just seemed tacky. haha.

the decision has been made. i am moving back to the east coast. ill discuss all my thoughts later (i have poured over everything with my mom and best friends for weeks now. its just a lot to type and im not really in the mood. world cup is on :)) im crazy excited. lots of anticipation and excitement. cant wait to spend tons of time laughing, dancing, eating, talking, and getting into trouble with my bests...all the while drinking too much and soaking up the sun. aaaand, i cant wait to date a great guy. thats right, you heard it here first. id like a nice one. peace out LA boys. some of you were fun. some were gross. and one, well, you sucked. (in all honesty, you sucked a long time ago, it just took me a while to quit you....haha). a special shout out to craig for being my therapist. hes taking bets now that said boy is going to come out pretty soon. haha. god, i need a drink.

happy saturday! xoxo