i cant believe its been two years

you know, i would have revelled in enjoying the super bowl with my dad yesterday. even if we lived apart, we could have, and most certainly would have, bet, laughed and enjoyed the sport. celebrating the wildcats being #1 in the pac-10 this season?!...yea, wed be going nuts together. running those half marathons, being my advice guru, being dad. i was always in awe of him. to this day, i ache to be compared to him, even on the smallest level. i gaze loningly at pictures of us, of him, of our family. i love watching home videos and reading notes he wrote me. he was my strength. its really hard being a girl sometimes. i know i am smart and athletic and i work hard and im pretty cool. i know i am a good sister, daughter and friend. the magic that my dad had was being able to make me truly live it. truly believe it...even at my weakest point. he was dad. i mean there really arent many things cooler than the relationship between a dad and his daughter. we were so much alike, and i was so happy to learn to be more like him (run harder even if it hurt...put in the extra 5 minutes on something, shower daily (haha, for those that reallllly know me, this will surely make you laugh), tease those you love, and eat movie popcorn). best of all...run. youre body is a temple. but that doesnt mean skimp dessert...the man could down thos M&Ms...by the handful.

thats what i loved. he was so full of contrasts. run 6 miles, but love dessert. make fun of mom and i, but be super sensitive. talk to me about boys, but not want tooooooooooo many details (those pictures scarred him im sure....right mom!!??) hahahaha. same rule applied with womanly issues (though i did love to make him squirm talking about getting breast implants). he was super macho and manly, but let me keep him in line...pluck those gray hairs, trim the eye brows, etc. we had a joke constantly that it would be my job to never let him be that guy that has hair sticking out in gross places. i took care of it :)

i am forever humbled by his confidence in me. i mean, if someone that gorgeous, that smart, that ambitious, that cool, that important, that funny, that popular, that rad, that suave, that loved, that meaningful sees all that in me, then it must be true. losing him makes me extremely possessive of my own life. it deserves only the best, as i will not invite a douche into my life where hw doesnt belong. i have to protect me, mom and dads honor. i realize how fleeting things seem. some things lost value when i lost dad. some things lost taste and color. some lost importance. what i know is this: what i aim to do, work for and attain is for the greater good of the kelley girls. me and mom. we are a tag team and i know that whats mine is hers. we aim to rule the world, and i want to do it with her by my side. i want to be her wingwoman.

today, as is the case every day, i honor john kelley. he was one in a million and defies definition. words and type dont do him justice. he was king kelley. always will be. i will forever smell him, see himm, talk to him, touch him, aim for him, work for him, live his honor, test his will and march forward. s.kelley: its you and me babe. i am one lucky kelley girl :)

odds and ends

for starters: the university of arizona wildcats are #1 in the pac-10. suck it stanford!
*lets hope this means that uncle dwight will be padding my pocket with $5 this season. hell yea!! go cats :)

is it just me or has the super bowl lost its oomph? i dont really think the commercials (lets face it, the clear reason we all watch it in the first place) have been that good in the past few years. the half time show has straight up sucked. hopefully itll be fun this year...just chillin with the boys (yea!!!)...but im more excited for that than the actual game. maybe its partly due to the fact that i cant have fun with it with my dad. we cant bet. we cant laugh about it. grr.

how about valentines day?! no boyfriend this year...haha, and we all know how my valentines day went last year: a recap in case you forget --- (hello aaron, sure id love to pay the hotel bill you sent me. yes, absolutely you fucktard). douche.

i have a crush on tons of boys...i flirt all the time and even like to kiss a few...hehe, but no real crush. you know, the kind that really aches your heart. people keep telling me its coming and that im going to get hit over the head with my next one. that, or im marrying craig. we already talked about it, and decided that if hes not married by 28-29 we will marry (i am one year older). he loves the idea. haha, half the battle right?! he told me, "just say the word..."

speaking on aaron, i wanted to update you on the fact that i have not seen him since my birthday (nov. 15th). havent spoken, texted, emailed, facebooked or anything of the like since christmas. funny, huh?! i find it very interesting. i get it...were done dating. i think hes gay. friends and family think hes gay. (or bi, for sure!). but, what i do wish he would have done was call to check in to make sure i was ok in such a new city. check in to find out how we are all doing...with dad, with changes, hows my mom, how am i, do i need anything, can he help. simple things like that. but he doesnt ask. never did. good guy that one ;)

besties ali and katie are planning to come visit soon! god damn itll be great. just amazing. then mom is coming. we havent finalized dates yet, but just knowing its in the pipeline...i love it!!

cant wait to head home...been a long day. happy monday (once again)

will you accept this rose?

seeing as its monday, and the bachelor is on (it gets a bit of attention at work), i thought itd be funny to incorporate that into the blog. have you watched this season? im going to be honest and say that i am forever scarrred from the show since andy went on it a few years back. you never, and i mean never, want to see a neighbor you grew up with (who you know entirely too much about) making out (and whatever else) with a bunch of crazies. its gross. and i can handle just about anything you throw at me. that was a bit too much.

i have seen a bit of an episode though, i will admit. hes cute. i mean, hes no andy roddick...matt damon...or countless other people who get my blood a-going. but hes cute. and polite. frankly, i dont watch too much tv. when i do have it on, i flip...i like family guy (LOVE!!), house, two and a half men, and sometimes i just love me some crap tv. there really arent any shows that "i cant miss, oh my god i must tivo, holy shit i cant miss it, i have to be home for this" shows. do you have any?

feb first

lets start the month off right...(by wishing you a veryyyy happy february of course)!! i guess its considered the month of love...what are your plans?

this also means that spring cant be far behind, right? i hope so. spring and summer are such fun times of the year. and, quite honestly, i want to be tan again. my body really, and i mean REALLY needs color. i dont want to go tan or anything (at least yet) cause its still too early to show it off. and thatd be a waste.

man, hard to believe its already feb 1. that was a pretty fast month. just this morning, while i was getting dressed, it hit me that i live in los angeles, and have done so for 7 months. wow! 7 months! so much has happened, so many things have been done. but i mean its still kinda weird that i live in LA. (however, i am reminded every time i think about my mom....)...but i digress....

its also a time we "celebrate" (a term i use VERY loosely) the 2 year anniversary of the passing of daddio. i had a good tear-up last night, and have been talking to him a lot lately. id really like a visit. the other day my windshield wipers went crazy (as in, turned on full blast and kept finatically going every few seconds for about 10 minutes. then turned off). i hadnt touched a thing. it wasnt raining. this has happened a few times before since we lost dad...maybe its "our thing". he knows that by doing that i will know its him talking to me. i absolutely believe this to be true. so, thanks dad! i heard you loud and clear :) haha...

hope everyone is having a happy monday, a good start to february and an all around good day.

ill check back later :)

my town got a shout-out! check it out!!!

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/28/business/smallbusiness/28sbiz.html?emc=eta1

this is soo fun! and funny! my town. our town. hahaha...go lititz!! (youre famous!)

happy mothers day mom!

huh?! what?! is it mothers day?! no no, dont panic sillies...i just feel as though my mom deserves the shout out. she is one of those people that just get me. and i get her. and we gel. we just work. were besties and i love her so much. can you hear cumbay-ya playing?! haha...just kidding.

but, really, i am just so proud. we are coming up on a very VERY very very VERY tragic anniversary and she and i are just making it through life together. we are doing more than that...we are thriving. we are doing so much! but, it doesnt soften the blow of what we lost. it never will. but i know one thing is for sure: mom...i love you. SO much.

february 2010 marks the 2-year anniversary of the day god decided that dad should head upstairs. i still cringe, and get the chills merely thinking about it. im not going to make this entry all sappy, as i dont want to. but i chatted with dad last night when i went to bed. i like to do that :)  

yea, hi, real life?! yea, um, its me. hilary...

...and i think we need to have a chat. why is it that you are trying to cramp my style?! filing taxes...yea, um, im not really interested. tracking down 1099s, interest rates, and w-2s is not really my thing.

dont get me wrong, im a smart girl. i always file early, and obey the law. but i have come to find that real life really starts to kick you in the ass as you get older. what happened to the good ol' days when my biggest concern was that i would have my bagel ready to watch cartoons. or that we had enough ice cream in the freezer. or that i just wanted to be outside getting dirty, play with toys and obsess over boys. haha, that last one has remained ;)

anyway, the point is, fun doesnt have to leave us! if youre anything like my friends and i...immaturity rules! blast the backstreet boys. get a slushie. have sleepovers. bake. watch crap TV. gossip about boys. make tshirts. do it all. we do...and we forge to be forever young!!!!!

hey, its ok!

...to get the dress, then decide to throw the party.

...to let your more-employed friend buy lunch.

...to not make it past best supporting actor.

...to stop in the heat of the moment and remove your own control-top tights, thank you.

...to rely on commercials for all your new music. (thanks cadillac SRX - that phoenix song rules).

...to buy sexy lingerie and call it your valentines gift to yourself.

...to run in really ugly sweatpants while singing along on your ipod. (hey - youre running. in winter!).

...to refuse to date any man who puts his blackberry out on the table during a meal.

hes growing up!!

happppppy birthday to the best brother in the world. my big b turns the big 3-0 today!

HAPPY BIRTHDAY DREW!!
i guess you didnt listen to our grandmothers when they told you never to grow up....haha   ;)

i love you so much drew. i wish you the best today (and everyday). cant wait to chat later, and see you soon!
ever since i was born i have really loved being your little g. i admire you and look up to you, still, for so many things. cheers to being the best little sister you could ever ask for! haha. i love you so much!!!!!

things that are always difficult to nail

1 perfect toast if you find a toaster that doesnt either cremate or undercook, please let me know

2 platonic friendships with hot men be honest, life would be much simpler if he were gay

3 knowing when to sleep with a new man when does "classy and mysterious" morph into "asexual" in manland?

4 the perfect temperature in somebody elses shower who stole the intermediary degrees between freezing and scalding

5 flesh tones not even salmon looks good in salmon

6 the correct quota of caffeine either were snoozy and lifeliess or jittery and paranoid

there are so many other funny things that belong on this list. consider this part one :) 

what is it about starbucks...

...that is just simply magic. damn. sipping lattes with my mom is something that i cant wait to do once we live near each other. its the most amazing way to spend time. doing this while being on a road trip? thats heaven!! its a very simple pleasure, but man, treat yourself to it. coffee with the bestie? magic :)

you you you

hey its ok...

...to claim winning doenst matter. but, boy, do you want to win

...to feel irrationally nervous when you have to go around the room and say your name and where youre from

...to decide youre not going to do anything else productive for the rest of the working day

...to be judgemental about people who have plastic surgery, yet have your teeth professionally whitened

...to be disappointed that youre not her bridesmaid

...to weigh more than your boyfriend. he doesnt have boobs or hips

...to want men to send over drinks in theory. but feel mortified and put-upon when they actually do

...to be quite glad that he doesnt last more than 15 minutes. more sleep

ny times

this article was posted on my cousins blog and i was so enthralled by it, i had to share it here. hope you dont mind that i stole this link dwight!!...but i agree with you, this is SO TRUE!!!!! haha

http://www.nytimes.com/2010/01/07/fashion/07breakup.html?pagewanted=1