these updates will get better!

i swear, i will update more frequently coming soon! i looooove to blog, and i looove to update everyone on what im doing, thinking, wearing, saying, laughing about, loving, hating, or just randomly seeing.

for now, id like to share with you all that aarons birthday is in 9 days...hes going to be 30. of course my little brain is just filled with loads of fun ideas for would be amazing if we were "something". flickster tells me he doesnt deserve me. (thats why shes my bestie!! haha)...but truthfully, id like to give this a second shot. i mean, we waited for us to be in the same god damn city. we are now. id like to think that turning 30 will turn on a switch that makes him realize that he has a great thing in front of him. i think we would make, do make, and did make a cute couple. yes, he made a bad/stupid/rude decision. i made mistakes too. lots. so, aaron, if youre reading this, lets try again :) no games, no stupid shit, just fun. just life. just real.

ok, back to the present :)
a bunch of us are going to eric hughes housewarming tomorrow night. ive been excited about this since he invited me...caaaant wait :) he and i talked about coming to LA for months...he made the move. weeks later, here i am. i still find myself not totally realizing i live here. nope...still hasnt registered.

i had a great convo with dad last night. often, i talk to him. i am in need of a good cry. i feel it right on the brink...itll happen :) but i talked to him last night in my car. im so sad and scared and pissed hes gone. i hope hes proud of us :) i know he is...i just know it. life is so surreal sometimes. i find it so refreshing to constantly remind myself of what is important. stupid drama at work? NO. past mistakes with aaron and i? NO. life is all about what makes you excited about the possibility to see what can develop with us. i cant forget that people have said how great we are together...or how we are made for the long run. i think we just tripped over our own feet. my family, my all are my life. and i thank you. i live for you. i hope i am enough.

and you, mom. one step at a time for us :) its only going to get better for us...i just feel it. funny comments, live calls and funny laughs at night keep me chucking along. the distance sucks...we know. but we are making the most of it...and as we get settled we will work out better ways to see each other more often. cause this "not seeing each other for months" just aint gonna work. NO SIR.

thanks everyone for caring. truly. sounds so trite...but i mean it more than you know. this blog is my baby, and i am so proud that i have people that truly care enough to want to read it. i love you all soo soo soo much. hope everyone is having a fabulous week!!!!!! love you :) xoxo