Its so funny to be in LA this morning...this is the first year I am on my own for Thanksgiving and not meeting up with family. Granted, I will see them later in the weekend, but nothing formal or set. Its so funny how complicated life can get when you get older (or, quite frankly, are at the mercy of a job that you are only 3 months into). As much as I wish I could be home right now, hanging with my family and friends, being back east, and celebrating moms bday, a part of me is glad this holiday is really low-key this year. I think I am doing exactly what I am supposed to be doing.
I plan to take some time for myself throughout the weekend. Hell, I might even venture out on Friday and see the craziness that is black friday (I was working last year). I plan to cook in my apartment. Watch some movies. Help a friend (one of my bests) through through a really, really, really tough time.
I am thankful for my health and happiness. I am thankful for my friends and family. I am thankful for me.
I have been thinking about dad a lot this week. I have had some sad moments, some tears, some laughs. I am remembering the thanksgiving we spent together when I was living in philly...he was so great with me (adjusting to everything)...and it was right before he was diagnosed. He was the ultimate. Just my best friend. (as far as dads go). He really was...man, my life was great. Strong. Sorted.
Is it possible for me to ever feel that again? I dont know. But I will continue to live for him in hopes that I am the woman he would be proud to call his only daughter. God damn, I am lucky. And thankful.
Life is just one of those things that you really cant sum up. Well I cant. I like that...but it makes for some fuzzy times. Its going to be a great holiday season...I feel it in my bones!!!! (and know that dad is the one ringing the bell the loudest!)