hey, its OK!

...to dream of a white (sand and red bikini) Christmas

...to insist they use a coaster

...to want to speak frankly at the big holiday meal. "whats up with me? im PMSing and plotting to kill my boss, but at least im getting laid a lot!!"

...to think every jar of super-chunky peanut butter should come with a spoon

...to be that special kind of uptight that makes you pause the present-opening to smooth out and fold the wrapping paper for future reuse

...to still sleep best in your old twin bed at Mom's house

...to send a holiday card only from you: no babies, no pets, just you and the Taj Mahal, looking festive