drew came to visit us at the store today, and we were able to jet out and see the brick we had made at hospice for dad. its in the most perfect spot...right outside room 12 (his room) beside the octangular covering. mom was soo soo happy to see that its in a good spot. I LOVE YOU DADDIO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! xoxo
can you believe Christmas is in 5 days?! im really looking forward to volunteering at hospice. its funny, even now when an ambulance passes me i cant help but be reminded of the day i rode with dad to hospice. it may be naive, but i didnt think that that was it. i thought we were going to stabilize him, and head home. not even close.
i welcome any and all memories of dad. though some bring me to tears...i truly think they are happy tears. tears in response to how much of a HUGE part of my life he is, was and always will be. i think about him and talk to him everyday. i know he is proud of me. i just wish he was able to physically hug me, kiss me, give me advice, run with me, go to movies, and grab a drink. what scares me is that i will never find a guy that is good enough. i dont know that i will be able to find a guy like dad, or drew. i just dont know...
i do a lot of thinking these days. about how fragile life is. but how miraculous a ride it is as well. how important it is to tell those you love just that, and not let the madness of reality get the better of you. to not allow jerks, and moody people affect you. they do not deserve it. but also, im learning not to allow guys who bring me down to remain in my life. at least not waste time and energy on them. friends...sure. any more of myself...not a chance. i find that i dont have patience for stupid shit. for grudges. my job is not to please everyone all the time (thank you for that advice daddio!!!). i am me, you are you. lets just be happy with life :)
i want to say i love you to all my family and friends. you make me realize how lucky and loved i am. i hope i do the same for you. you fullfil my life in ways that i only dreamt possible. i wish nothing but happiness, health and positivity in the new year! lets continue to join together and have the best 2009. 2008 was a fucking hell of a year. but without all of you, it would not have been possible to understand any of it. i am so proud to know you. and have you on my team. i know my dad is smiling at all of us. thank you. i love you. xoxo
please keep in mind, the lettering rules for the brick were extremely rigid. haha.