Skip to main content

it all (really) started 2 years ago...

today, february 2nd, marks the anniversary of my dads cjd diagnosis (in 2007). 2 years ago today we were told the most devastating news i could have ever imagined. only 3 months into my new job in philadelphia at urban outfitters, i felt like my life was over. being away from my dad felt stupid...so back to lanc i came. these past two years have been the most sickening, hurtful, humorous, enlightening, and all-around surreal years. we experience things in our lives that color our journey. i know i am stronger and more resilient than i ever knew. i have seen love in ways i never knew were possible. i have seen and felt tears and laughter that fill my heart. i have so many people that hep me through life...i hope i do the same for them.
i find myself thinking of my dad all the time. sometimes i find it too difficult to glance at the pictures i have in my apt or on my fridge...sometimes his beaming face is just too much. i did, however, bring a few pictures to work with me today to keep my by my side. i spent the morning looking at pictures...i felt it was a good way to ease the enormity of the day.

i love being a daughter. being a sister is amazing too (especially with you DRE DAWG!!!), but i miss being the daughter to my dad. most of all i miss the future for him (and me). i miss all the things we would have done, what we would see each other accomplish. i miss his spirit, his strength, his ambition, his humor, his heart. i miss him. i dont want to simply list his qualities...he was/is more than that...but those are just a few of the things that made him my dad.

i still cant believe any of these past two years happened. bereavment is a bitch. total bitch. grieving a loss is shitty. but i do believe that the reason it hurts so bad is because we had it so good. thank you for everything dad, i love you. xoxo

Comments

Drew said…
I can't believe it's been a year since Dad died...time has flown. A lot has happened. It will be good to reflect on everything this weekend. Can't wait to see you.

Popular posts from this blog

march madness

i have come to find the madness of life happens far beyond march. that said, when we really think about it, lifes madness is a gift, right? i mean that in a "take the good with the bad" kind of way, not so much that i love the madness.

i live in madness. all the time. i love so many things about NYC - but sometimes, those same things are the things that sending me screaming into my pillow or heading out of town at a moments notice.

take this past weekend. i had had enough of NYC - sleepless nights, work stress and a nagging running injury. it was one of my best childhood friends birthdays, so i hopped on a train for a 3.5 hour ride to newport for an incredible night filled with endless prosecco and bread, birthday cake and wonderful memories and laughs, i returned to NYC 24 hours later (after a 5 hour wi-fi less ride) a better person. sure, the ride back was brutal - but the sore abs and messy hair reminded me that it was exactly what life is about.

madness, baby. may it las…

break a sweat - even when youd rather do ANYTHING but.

there is only one way to begin the difficult journey of the holiday sugar detox: break a sweat. 

miraculously i didnt miss a day over the holidays to break a sweat -- but that really just means i got up extra early or ran when people were napping (i.e. full and feeling gross) so not all of my holiday miles or squats were pretty. or felt particular good.

BUT, i laced up and got out there -- or followed along to a dailyburn workout. i kept telling myself i could slow down or take it easier, but shit, im doing a workout.

so basically, what they say is true. no matter how slow you go, youre still lapping everyone on the couch. go get in a good sweat, then reward yourself with some couch time :)